We had the good fortune of connecting with Kerry Mensior and we’ve shared our conversation below.
Hi Kerry, what matters most to you?
Going beyond Active Listening. Most people hear, which is a Noun and some people Listen, which is a verb and even fewer Actively Listen. I teach people, when it’s an emotionally charged situation, to go Beyond Active Listening and to actually ignore the words! The words are just noise and if you pay too much attention to them, you can get triggered yourself and get sucked into reacting instead of being able to respond. Instead, they should listen for the emotions that are under the words, go for a deeper layer. That is truly where the gold is hiding! Once you can identify the emotions, then you can use other techniques I share and be able to authentically and effectively communicate with that person.
Can you give our readers an introduction to your business? Maybe you can share a bit about what you do and what sets you apart from others?
When I was a new Police Officer, my Sergeant stopped me one afternoon as I cleared briefing and was headed out to the field. I was working a pedophile series in Balboa Park in San Diego, CA. Balboa Park is larger than Central Park in New York and has all of the same problems. My Sergeant told me that the average Central Division Officer got 1 citizen complaint every 3 years and that I had received 7… in 6 months. He told me I was being transferred. I didn’t get sent to any training like Sensitivity, Diversity, EEO, Communication Skills or anything like that… because none of those trainings existed! If I was the problem, and I was, the City didn’t fix the problem, they just moved it. Four months later, I was back on my beat. Not because I had fixed myself, but because my Sergeant transferred and the new Sergeant didn’t know what had happened. I knew I had to change and I also knew I wasn’t the only one who needed this training. So I created it. Over the next several years I created Diversity training that was used to train every employee of the San Diego Police Department and I also was selected to create and teach a new course at San Diego Miramar College called Diversity and Community Relations. I created several other training courses including Innovative De-Escalation and Trust Based Policing which is beginning to sweep the nation as a new way of having Law Enforcement Officers approach policing. The things I teach in my courses are not being taught anywhere else in law enforcement. Specifically, I combine Neuroscience and Personality Science to allow Officers to rapidly develop rapport and create authentic connections with people.
Let’s say your best friend was visiting the area and you wanted to show them the best time ever. Where would you take them? Give us a little itinerary – say it was a week long trip, where would you eat, drink, visit, hang out, etc.
When you come to the Tourist Mecca of Southern California, it’s easy to get overwhelmed with all of the choices. Here is the Insider Secrets and the Must-Do’s while you’re in town.
1. Start with the basics: San Diego Zoo, any of the fine museums in Balboa Park (and specifically the central area called the El Prado includes the El Prado Restaurant), and the Gaslamp District in downtown. Stay on 4th and 5th Avenue between Broadway and K Street and you’ll be safe.
2. For authentic Italian food, there are two: The Godfather and Baci’s. You should do both!
3. For authentic Mexican food, Casa Guadalajara in Old Town will leave you stuffed!
4. Beaches are a must and there are two special areas. Take Garnet Ave (in the Pacific Beach neighborhood), to the water and you’ll find Crystal Pier. If you have a chance, stay on the cottages on the pier for an amazing experience and the best sleep ever! Tell the Owner Jim that I said hello! He is one of my favorite people in the world! Walk a few block either side of the pier for some of the best scenery in the world! The second beach place is is Children’s Cove (look for the baby seals there!) in the La Jolla neighborhood coupled with La Jolla Cove which is a short walk away. These places are simply magical!
5. While you’re at Crystal Pier, be sure to grab breakfast or at least lunch at Kono’s. Ahh. May. Zing.
The Shoutout series is all about recognizing that our success and where we are in life is at least somewhat thanks to the efforts, support, mentorship, love and encouragement of others. So is there someone that you want to dedicate your shoutout to?
Diane Halfman, Todd Durkin and Maria Whalen. Diane has been my Love and Partner and inspires me on an hourly basis. Todd is my Coach and he motivates and drives me to excel in all areas of my life. Maria has been my business advisor and cheerleader who has encouraged me to keep slogging forward through the toughest times and to sprint farther and faster in the best of times.