We had the good fortune of connecting with Tobi Beck and we’ve shared our conversation below.

Hi Tobi, what led you to pursuing a creative path professionally?
To give myself a chance. To meet myself again. Building a creative career as a full-time artist is a second chapter for me after decades in corporate administrative roles and buried dreams. It’s a redemption of sorts for past sidesteps.

It’s also a crucial time marker of a promise to myself to stop playing small after a cancer scare in 2015 landed me with no uterus and one ovary. A second surgery was needed for complications and I was out of work for several months. It was a big, painful, frightening ordeal that became the catalyst for questioning life and what I wanted from it. So, it’s all a reckoning, really. Tobi 2.0. Though, I never pictured myself becoming a painter so that was a funny twist.

When you’re faced with this reality and the idea of a shortened life swings around, your distant “somedays” zoom into view real quick and make you really consider. Our family had already been through so much, so I was ripe for longing. And rediscovery. Prime pickings.

It was in the trenches that I found painting one night in 2014. I was really struggling to cope. I happened to have some random craft supplies nearby. With no warning, my hands grabbed, smudged, scraped, and blobbed out every feeling onto 45 paper squares. I hadn’t experienced anything cathartic until then. An actual release, like a full exhale. Outside of bad course projects and an office chair I turned into a cow, I had never painted before. Those squares became my first collection, released in 2019. Raw, rough, and honest.

Not long after, I carved out a little spot at home for myself and began exploring painting more as a way to relieve anxiety and soothe. That’s when I could see the changes start to happen. Those childhood dreams started to peek out again. Like, maybe this is it?

I always knew I wanted a creative career. As a kid, I didn’t play with dolls. Instead, they were my runway models. I’d cut up my own clothes to style them up like Cyndi Lauper, Boy George, and 80s pop punk bands I’d see in magazines. I dreamed of a life in Paris, designing in the fashion industry. I loved visual expression even at that young age, especially the torn and marked up; clearly influenced by growing up in the city projects of South Boston. It came out in collage, too, when I’d tear up magazines and collect edgy editorial spreads: perfect makeup smudged down an atypical face, flutters of frilly dresses ripped and grounded with combat boots, fancy ladies in cool clothes spread on scuffed floors of worn, dirty laundromats. I’ve always had an aversion to “pretty” and connected with the darker, unconventional images and stars that were elevated and expressive but not easily preferred or accepted. The alternative beautiful. Scars and stories. I wanted to be surrounded by this kind of creativity and knew an artful environment focused on visual exploration would be a great fit for what naturally attracted and excited me.

It wasn’t until after high school when I interviewed at the Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising in Los Angeles, ultimately where I attended school for Visual Communications, that I understood my gifts didn’t easily lend themselves to the technicalities or even interest of design (then, as it pertained to fashion – having zero desire to sew or for precision at any basic level), but were primed and greased for the expressive communication and arrangement of it. Through layouts, color stories, layers, and element relationships, I found a love for composition. That was the freeing piece; the space that felt like home.

In fact, when I was in classes at FIDM, my composition teacher would brag on my work and often post it up as an example to the class on interesting balance of space and design, but then he always said I was a terrible painter. Isn’t that funny? My lines were a mess. I had never taken a formal art class, so I had no experience or technical skill with brushes or paint for that matter. Hilarious. He wasn’t wrong. Those lines were waves. I’m dying. It’s true. Thankfully, it was a design principle class so he could see past my shaky hand. And did.

No shade though! It totally makes sense how it all unfolded since I found myself in abstract painting and not realistic expression which can require a more neat and precise approach. Nothing about me is neat and precise. And I don’t really want to be so buttoned up. It all adds up when you look over your life and compare it to the things that light you up. The dark and twisty, the marked up and torn; taking off-beaten, alternative paths. Just like my artwork, it’s all on brand and comes together like a puzzle. I like to say I live life abstractly; raw, honest, and open to learning, evaluating, adjusting. PIVOT! Fighting through the messy middles. I’m clueless, but scrappy. It works.

I ended up leaving FIDM with just a semester left. That was the beginning of the sidestepping. I took my first office gig and the rest is history. So much goodness came out of these corporate cubicle years. Not at all a waste. Total opposite, in fact. It shaped my character and beliefs, grew my skills. Gave me lifelong friendships and taught me leadership.

After healing from my surgeries, I tried to go back and lasted six months. I left to do art.

Alright, so let’s move onto what keeps you busy professionally?

Painting is reserved as the highest space of freedom in my life and I hold it very dear, but not in fragility. I move quickly using hard-edge tools, palette knives, rollers, and brushes; grabbing by instinct and allowing free expression as it comes. Some tools are accidental or self-made, like a broken handle or a brush I didn’t clean in time with bristles all stuck together. These make awesome marks.

My work is mostly acrylic on canvas board and paper, but sometimes mixed media or collage. Occasionally, I’ll use traditional stretched canvas, but it doesn’t offer the same hard surface that I love to scrape and dig into so I reserve it for specific types of work, like a fun tissue paper series idea I have brewing. I’m looking to add in more wood panels, too. I work pretty quickly, usually completing a painting in one sitting and sometimes knocking them out in batches. When I get going, it’s tough to stop. My storage levels wish I could just a little.

I call my paintings “smudges of my love and guts” and consider them emotional exhales. Every scrape and smudge is letting go of honest feelings I’m having in the moment. I paint intuitively with no plan for outcome, design, tools, or even color palette. I let myself decide in the moment and flow with it. Being someone who is challenged with anxiety most days in “normy” life, I love having this place to be free and let be what is as an artist. Accepting what comes out is a nice change of pace. I’m working on being more like this outside of the studio. Baby steps.

Abstraction speaks to me in a way nothing else does. There is so much freedom and openness for interpretation. It’s more connecting for me to have the space to think and decide for myself, rather than being given something represented and familiar. To be told. Blech. There is mystery and emotion in the abstract. It puts the responsibility on me to think and dig deeper. As a puzzler and someone who loves to toss questions for the sake of wondering and not always solving, I really love that concept. I don’t want it to be so easy. Make me question! I’m ok and happy in the “huh.” I hope my pieces do this for others. I know they do me. Even the bad ones.

I’m super proud of the fact that I’m self-taught and later in years. It took awhile to fight feelings of regret for not finishing school and not having an art degree or formal education in the arts. The reality is, while I would have gained technical knowledge, it’s my life experience that informs and fills my work. My own unique voice and journey that makes it distinctive. Why smudges have a lingering edge (yummy grunge) or why my canvas is always vertical (I grew up around tall buildings? I don’t know!). It’s my story that makes these choices even when I can’t explain or even understand them.

I say this from a humble place, because it’s not about better or worse only different, but I think these are the things technical knowledge and school can’t give you. It’s heart. You can’t buy or study that. You can have a skilled degree and be soulless. Me in corporate, right? Doing the thing and succeeding, but always craving the possibility and mourning what could’ve been. It’s not worth it. Decide your happy. In time, I’ve learned to lead with soul and learn the skill. It’s risky. There’s sacrifice. It’s worth it. And I think ultimately it’s a win.

I encourage anyone – EVERYONE – to get a piece of paper, canvas, or even a chunk of cardboard. Doesn’t matter. Grab some cheap paint and dollar brush. Anything. Squeeze the bottle and let it drip down. Sit with that for a second and watch your breathing. Exhale and let it fade out. Close your eyes and just be with it for a sec. Float in that place where there is no expectation. No judgement. The outcome doesn’t matter. It’s about the journey and openness to the process. It’s in the becoming. When your shoulders are dropped, take the brush or even your fingers and glide the paint around. Curve it. Let it flow and form as it will, like a river. So peaceful. When I get here, everything is still and just hovers. I get tingles, like waking from a massage. It’s spiritual. 10/10 recommend.

If you had a friend visiting you, what are some of the local spots you’d want to take them around to?
While I am a total hermit pizza-and-game-night homebody, there are definitely some things that will get me up and kicking for relaxing, memorable quality time.

We actually just spent the perfect day in LA for my birthday! We saw the current exhibit at MOCA Grand, had lunch at the Lemonade Cafe, then walked to MOCA Geffen. We took an Uber to Bottega Louie for their glorious pastries and macarons, extra special to us because it’s what we served guests at our wedding. Such a great day!

https://www.bottegalouie.com/
https://www.moca.org/

If friends came to town and we wanted more natural SoCal sites, we’d head for a drive up the 126 along the mountains and orange groves, stop at Ventura harbor, rent kayaks and paddle around to look for sea lions. Take in the fresh air, grab some fish & chips in one of the local restaurants there, Brophy Bros or Andria’s seafood. Walk along the water with a big ice cream from Costal Cone. There’s usually live music on the weekends. It’s a good, relaxing day outdoors.

It’s nice to go further up to Santa Barbara, too. Walk the pier or along the beach. Bring or rent bikes – those 4 person ones are fun. It’s a vibe. People honk horns at each other in community along the paths and there is a ton of good food and shops along State St. There is an awesome place I took my mom once, Salt Cave Santa Barbara. It was incredible. They sell all kinds of natural bath products and offer massage and beauty services right on State, but the gold is in the salt cave they’ve created using pink Himalayan salt in a crystal cave room. We booked an experience there and sat in silence with a group inside the cave for Halotherapy – breathing in the salt-saturated air for 45 minutes. I fell asleep. It was amazing. And a must-do! Great for a gift by the way.

Home

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https://saltcavesb.com/

Some of our other favorite day trips and visits:
Descanso Gardens or The Huntington Library for art, walks and tea.
We are season ticket holders for Pantages and love a good concert or comedy gig, so catching a show is always great. Or getting box seats at the Hollywood Bowl is awesome. We caught Dave Chappelle there. Hysterical. Could drive out to the Santa Barbara Bowl, too. We parked and took a ricksha once. Super fun, but did feel bad for the guy. It was hot!
For a splurge spa day, we’ll hit Burke Williams and then go for lunch and a movie at the mall.
Grab a takeout Chicago pizza at Gino’s East for a fun night in.
Our absolute go-to though? Laemmle movie theater in Newhall. We are always there. We have a premier card and they have the best popcorn!

https://www.descansogardens.org/, https://huntington.org/, https://www.broadwayinhollywood.com/, https://www.hollywoodbowl.com/, https://www.lagreektheatre.com/, https://sbbowl.com/https://www.burkewilliams.com/, https://www.laemmle.com/

Shoutout is all about shouting out others who you feel deserve additional recognition and exposure. Who would you like to shoutout?
For sure, I want to start with my wife, Gina. She is the pinnacle believer of everything I do. Late night couch talks. Ridiculous amounts of grace and understanding. Absorbs all my anxiety and tears. Schleps tents, builds booth walls, keeps me hydrated and fed. Even builds custom frames for my artwork. She’s a top pocket rock star. I’m so thankful and so in love.

My mom who worries I spend too much time indoors and makes me go outside. She’s not wrong. I do have a recorded vitamin D deficiency. Moms know. Love you, ma! Thank you for letting me dress up as Cyndi Lauper for Halloween, telling all of your mail customers about my paintings, and teaching me work ethic. You’ve always sacrificed to make it happen for us – I am grateful for you.

Friends and family who listen, check in, and most importantly, keep me laughing with memes and gifs. Y’all light up my insides and I miss and love your faces. Near and far. I know you’re there. xo

MY COLLECTORS: From LA to Copenhagen, I am so thankful to be seen by you. And for our connection in this way. You are so special to me. I appreciate your support. Love to you!

Special shoutout to Harry Cherniak, my very first collector. We met at Renegade LA in 2017. Thank you, Harry, if you’re out there! Love you!

Being an artist can be a very lonely venture. Having a community that can offer relatability, encouragement, growth, and learning is vital. These 3 art communities have been incredibly helpful and supportive:

Nicholas Wilton – Creative Visionary Program and Art2Life Academy (Sausalito, CA)
Emily Jeffords – Making Art Work and The Collective (Greenville, SC)
Santa Clarita Artists Association, SCAA (Santa Clarita, CA)

I strongly encourage artists to check out their local artist associations! There is a wealth of experience and knowledge at your fingertips. Through mine, I have met great people who offer new perspective and have had opportunities to show my work that I wouldn’t otherwise.

Other inspiring resources: Creative Pep Talk podcast, Lisa Congdon (author, artist, teacher, podcaster), Skillshare, Melissa & Sara of Jackalope Art Fair – they help foster an amazing community of artists and makers and put on incredible events.

Read: Any and all of Lisa Congdon’s books, Feck Perfuction – James Victore, The War of Art – Steven Pressfield, Untamed – Glennon Doyle

If you are an artist or creator in any way and I follow you on Instagram, please know that you inspire me. There is something about your work, presence, honesty, community, or creation process that speaks life into me. Thank you for putting yourself out there. It encourages others, like me, to do the same.

https://www.nicholaswilton.com/, https://www.art2life.com/, https://www.emilyjeffords.com/, https://www.santaclaritaartists.org/, https://www.creativepeptalk.com/, https://lisacongdon.com/, https://www.jackalopeartfair.com/, https://www.skillshare.com/

Website: https://www.tobibeck.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tobiannbeck/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tobiannbeck/

Nominate Someone: ShoutoutSocal is built on recommendations and shoutouts from the community; it’s how we uncover hidden gems, so if you or someone you know deserves recognition please let us know here.