Meet Tawny Ann De La Peña | Life Coach & Bad Bitch

We had the good fortune of connecting with Tawny Ann De La Peña and we’ve shared our conversation below.

Hi Tawny Ann, is there something you believe many others might not?

One piece of conventional advice I disagree with is the proverb, “Curiosity killed the cat.”

This is one of those sayings that are ingrained within our culture as a society. We heard it in storybooks as a child. And we repeat as adults to our offspring, wagging our fingers in judgment and disapproval, further perpetuating the proverb’s meaning — that “curiosity” is dangerous, or worse, deadly.

That means that from a very young age, we tell kids that they shouldn’t be curious. Sounds odd to me. ‘Cuz it’s curiosity that drives humans to seek life-changing solutions, just ask startup unicorns like Uber, Instacart, Canva, and SpaceX — all companies that found new solutions to everyday problems like transportation, grocery shopping, graphic design, and anything we didn’t even know was possible.

As Brené Brown explains in her HBO Max series Atlas of the Heart, curiosity and wonder are two sides of the same coin. Why does this matter? Because wonder is the catalyst for learning and in turn, growth.

There can be no personal growth WITHOUT curiosity.

But you know what’s funny? The original version of the proverb was, “Care killed the cat” — later defined with more specificity by Ebeneezer Cobham Brewer’s Dictionary of Phrase and Fable:

“Care killed the Cat. It is said that ‘a cat has nine lives,’ yet care would wear them all out.”

Even in its original form, it taught humans that “care” ruins any chance of survival. No matter how you try to make sense of it, you just can’t.

Without curiosity or care, I and so many others wouldn’t be the people we are today.

Even though there’s an updated, more positive version of the proverb, “Curiosity killed the cat, and satisfaction brought it back,” which is the one you hear most?

At the very least, I hope this blurb inspires you to rethink the use of this popular proverb we all know and love far too well as a culture.

Let’s talk shop? Tell us more about your career, what can you share with our community?

My proudest accomplishment is my transformation. I went from being viewed as a ticking time bomb and loose cannon to being seen as a compassionate collaborator.

My biggest challenges were my anger and victim mentality, which fed into a perpetual cycle of resentment and self-doubt. And just like everyone described it, the way I showed up very much felt like a ticking time bomb. Yeah, I was the same silly and playful person I am today, but there was a fear others always had when they were around me. Why? They were always waiting for the other shoe to drop — the moment the fuse ignited an explosion.

I didn’t like that people saw me that way; actually, I hated myself for it. I knew I wanted to change but didn’t know how to do it. So, I did what any millennial who needed help would do — I went down a rabbit hole of Google searches related to self-help. I found a lot of cool tools and strategies that definitely helped me on my journey, but they always felt like quick fixes or short-term band aids. The biggest lesson I learned from reading all the books, listening to all the podcasts, and binge-watching all the content was that the key to transformation was to become aware of my thought patterns.

I won’t lie; it wasn’t an easy process. I had to spend a lot of time reflecting on and challenging my core beliefs and values. I had to practice awareness and intentionality, which meant I had no choice but to confront issues I sometimes didn’t even know existed. And THAT was always painful and wildly uncomfortable.

But as I learned from The Life Coach School, “discomfort is the currency of your dreams.” Pushing through uncomfortable moments is the only way to grow. When I didn’t push through those uncomfortable moments, I’d deflect, defend, or judge — all such lovable qualities (I’m being sarcastic, if you can’t tell). And then I’d wonder why no one wanted to “play” with me.

Sometimes, it would take months or even years to convince myself that a specific belief or behavior wasn’t serving me or helping me grow. But the more I practiced, the better I got at (1) slowing down my thoughts (2) dissecting and challenging those thoughts (3) reframing the way I want to think about specific circumstances. And now, I can flip from anger to compassion in a matter of minutes or seconds. I want to teach as many people as possible how to do the same. My personal mission is to help others overcome the negative feelings and behaviors that hinder them from growing into the person they WANT to be — the best version of themselves.

Before I became a certified life coach, I spent the majority of my career as a direct response, conversion copywriter, which just means I’m really good at making people buy shit they don’t need. I’m extremely proud to say that now, instead of using my persuasion powers for “evil” (the ads you see on social media), I’m using them for good (to empower others to begin their personal growth journey).

If you had a friend visiting you, what are some of the local spots you’d want to take them around to?
My favorite spot in the city is my home. My wife and I both got into Tulsa Remote, a one-year program that offers eligible remote workers a $10,000 grant and additional benefits to move to and work from Tulsa, Oklahoma. Since we both got in, we both received the grant. So, we bought a 3,200 sq. ft., 5-bedroom, 3-bath house; it has a gym, game room, music area, audio booth, green screen, and more. We created the perfect place to both work and play. I love hosting people in my home, making them the best KBBQ in the city, and entertaining them while I play trumpet and my wife plays guitar.

I also love to take visitors to The Gathering Place, a 67-acre park with a museum, coworking spaces, ponds, water features, epic playgrounds, and more.

Shoutout is all about shouting out others who you feel deserve additional recognition and exposure. Who would you like to shoutout?
I’d like to dedicate this shoutout to…

(1) The Life Coach School | Out of all the self-help books, podcasts, influencers, tools, resources, and organizations I’ve followed religiously over the last decade, The Life Coach School is the one that created the most change in my life; it’s why I chose to get my life coaching certification from them. All the other resources I used helped me to create short-term change, while The Life Coach School literally transformed the way I experience life. I am a completely different person than I was when I first discovered it. I used to be angry all the time and hindered by my victim mentality. I settled for less than I deserved at work, in my relationships, and in my personal goals. But now, I approach problems and goals differently and am able to exceed my own expectations for solving those problems and achieving those goals on a daily basis.

The Life Coach School taught me the importance of focusing less on immediately changing a negative behavior or emotion and instead on understanding why the behavior or emotion takes place. Let’s take weight-loss programs and hacks for example: People who use these programs and hacks are rarely ever able to maintain the habits they learned from them. That’s because the only way to make the healthy eating habits stick is to find out why you overeat in the first place.

The Life Coach School taught me that we act from our emotions. Therefore, we can’t change our actions until we change the way we feel. And we can’t change the way we feel, unless we change the way you think about the circumstance.

Now that I can identify when specific thoughts or beliefs don’t serve me or the solution I need, I’m able to rewire those thoughts almost immediately. And I know that the tools, strategies, and concepts I learned from The Life Coach School is the sole reason my life is so incredibly amazing now. I’m the happiest person I know. I have a 10-year relationship with my wife that others envy because it’s healthy and seems like we only just met. I have the healthiest relationship with my immediate family members that I’ve ever had because I was able to set boundaries. I have two successful businesses (notice how work is last). I actually maintain a healthy work-life balance. And overall, I just feel so much better on a day-to-day basis. The world feels less like it’s on fire.

(2) My wife, Raphaelle Buenafe | Life With Tawny would never be possible without the unwavering support from my wife, Raphaelle Buenafe. She pushed me to start the business when I was too scared to even take a chance on it. She empowered me to quit my job and support us both while I build this business. And whenever I lose hope, she’s there to help me see the light. She is my best friend, the funniest person I know, and my reason for living.

Website: https://www.lifewithtawny.com/

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kickasscontentcreator/