We had the good fortune of connecting with Jeffy Botson and we’ve shared our conversation below.
Hi Jeffy, as a parent, what have you done for you children that you feel has had the most significant impact?
I’m relatively new to fatherhood, so I can’t speak on the longterm effect my efforts have had on my son just yet… but I can tell you about the “father” I do not want to be and how i hope to provide better for my baby boy.
I wasn’t fortunate enough to have a father who was available growing up. On the contrary, I had a dad who was hardly ever home & when he was, he was intoxicated, violent & unpredictable. I can count on one hand how many times I’ve heard the words “I love you” come out of his mouth & recall memories as young as elementary school that scarred me for life. I would come home from school ready to show off my good grades and get things thrown at me for standing in the way of the television. The majority of my holiday memories are accompanied by stories of him getting blackout drunk and ruining family parties with his antics. Physical altercations, lack of encouragement, public embarrassment, not showing up, cheating, lying, and lack of effort are all just surface level problems with him, but a normal day in the life of the man I never want to be. I worked so hard to make that man proud of me, and I just could never make it over that hill. The day he walked out on my family was bitter sweet. Regardless of how horrible of a father he was, I still wanted to think of him as a hero… but to see the rest of my family finally get some relief from his leaving was beautiful. We became closer as a family and my mom obtained a newfound sense of freedom. For lack of better words, we were better off & the tears we all shed over the years helped water a new garden.
When my son was born, my initial thought was “How can I be a good father to this kid when I never really saw the best example of what a father should be?”. I thought about my lack of basic skills that a “man should know” like changing a car tire or fixing a lawn mower. I never had anyone to teach me, so how could i teach my son these things when the time came? It was overwhelming to say the very least… but the more I adapt to fatherhood, the more I realize how much of a difference just being present can make in a kid’s life. I’m willing to learn the things I want to pass down to my boy. I’m willing to curve my bad habits, make sacrifices for his betterment, and set the examples he needs to reach his full potential. I’m willing to make the time for him & encourage his interests. I’m willing to love him the way my father couldn’t. Who’s to say what kind of impact this will have on him in the scheme of things, but one thing is for certain… this kid will never have to question whether or not I love him. I will always be available. If ever & whenever. Cheers to being nothing like my father was.
What should our readers know about your business?
The Gutted Cigar is an Event Management company based out of Ventura County, CA. For the last 11 years, we have prided ourselves in bringing community to the forefront and giving creatives a safe space to showcase their work. Having operated in 26 states in the US, we have been able to build with many different communities and fill voids where necessary. The key element – moving with selflessness and love. This has proven to be an effective approach to any body of work we put our hands on and benefits everyone from concert goers to contributors.
Who else deserves some credit and recognition?
I would like to dedicate this article to my son Milo Glenn. Thank you for making my life whole.