Meet Sara ONeil | Author & Relationship Expert

We had the good fortune of connecting with Sara ONeil and we’ve shared our conversation below.

Hi Sara, alright, let’s jump in with a deep one – what’s you’re definition for success?
My idea of success has changed over the years. What is most important to me now is loving where I’m at. Not a fantasy life that I think I’ll want but a life that I love today because I’m doing what I enjoy. This doesn’t mean that every day will be perfect, nor will I be leaping out of bed singing happy, full-voiced power ballads every morning–there is a balance. I’ve become realistic about that; every path has ups and downs. I used to think there was “some career or fulfilled dream” just out of reach that would make everything fall perfectly into place. That is not my story; I had to figure out what a successful life meant. I am full throttle. I like things to happen lightning-fast, and I don’t like wasting time getting to where I want to go. Since life (for me) has been incredibly ironic, everything has come together slowly. At some point, I gave up entirely and scrapped all of my big plans. I said, “Okay, that didn’t work out. Since you now have no idea where you’re going, let’s do this one task at a time; what do you have to lose?” And that’s what I did. I discovered everything I enjoyed doing, no matter how small, and started building it up from there. Somewhere along the way, I stopped caring what success for myself “looked like” and started focusing on building my day in the way that worked best for me. My life could be described very simply–while chasing things I thought I wanted, I was doing what I wanted to be doing, even though I didn’t see it at the time.

Alright, so let’s move onto what keeps you busy professionally?

I’ve had a lot of changes these past few years. For almost two decades, I’ve been a casting director for reality television, where I discovered my love of interviewing people. Simultaneously, I talked to people at every turn about love, heartbreak, and letting go of stuff that no longer serves (usually a love interest) any chance I got. So, a new path just found me. I wrote a dating book called When the F Will He Text (co-written with Jacqueline Kravette) during this time; it’s a book that took many years to show up in the world, it went on a journey with us.

I focus on two areas–relationships and boundaries. I’m either talking with people about dating, breakups, and the awkward limbo phase, or I’m shouting about people pleasing to anyone who will listen. This is a passion that found me in my life, as I don’t think I could have thought it up as a career choice if I tried. I write about it because it’s the issue I have overcome; I am a lifelong, codependent who slowly and painfully learned to put myself first. I didn’t do it gracefully either; it was a mess before it got better. This is the subject I love to inspire others with through my writing. If I can get to the other side, anyone can.

If you had a friend visiting you, what are some of the local spots you’d want to take them around to?
I love Hollywood history–the beauty, the iconic landmarks, and all the morbid stuff. I admit, I am a sucker for ghost and murder stories. Since moving to Los Angeles, all of my guests got the sightseeing adventure they didn’t know they wanted (okay, in hindsight, I’m not sure if it was what they wanted). I’d put them in my car and drive them to all the sites. A quick drive down Hollywood Blvd (car view of the Hollywood Walk of Fame), they’d get the Sunset Blvd tour past the old iconic nightclubs, past my first haunted apartment with some creepy ghost stories, the Hollywood sign and Jim Morrison’s house in the canyon. If we were heading to the beach, we’d continue on Sunset Blvd with some detours–the home Marilyn Monroe died in, OJ’s home (before it was torn down), and Jayne Mansfield’s house (also torn down). It seems (in hindsight) I assumed people wanted to see homes that are no longer the actual homes. As far as restaurants–all the classics are on the list. Swingers, Jones, Formosa Cafe, Vitello’s, and the Beverly Hills Hotel, to name a few. I really could start a tour company. However, there are some really fun options like the Dearly Departed Tours or, if you love rock and roll, see if Pamela Des Barre is doing her “I’m With the Band” rock tour.

Shoutout is all about shouting out others who you feel deserve additional recognition and exposure. Who would you like to shoutout?
I want to dedicate my Shoutout to Author and Publisher Anna David. She once told me, in the most loving way, that it is selfish to keep my stories to myself. We never know who needs to hear what we have to say in the way that only we can share it. I have been writing ever since. Her advice got me out of my own way. Mostly.

Website: saraoneil.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sarajoneil/

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sara-oneil/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/saraoneil/

Image Credits
Anastasia Stanecki