Meet Stacy Spensley | Parenting Coach & Author

We had the good fortune of connecting with Stacy Spensley and we’ve shared our conversation below.

Hi Stacy, how did you come up with the idea for your business?
When I was expecting my first baby back in 2013, I was already a certified health coach. Most of my coaching focused less on what people ate and more on why they ate it. As I told clients that I was pregnant, they all said, “Congratulations! And now you’ll work with parents!”

“What do I know about being a parent???” was my reply. And I was right.

Since I did not, in fact, know anything about being a parent in practice, I had to learn. As my first baby did not really sleep, I had lots of time to read about it. The more I read, the more I was able to share with other parents I met who then started asking me for resources. The information I was finding seemed to be Super Mainstream or So Crunchy That It’s Dogmatic, neither of which worked for me–hence the name Semi-Crunchy Mama™. I started a Facebook page just to share the articles I found that WERE helpful with others in a more efficient way.

The impetus for the Facebook page was just to disseminate curated third-party information, and people liked it, but people still wanted the highlight reel. I started writing blog posts, and even created an in-person class based on all the research I had done and my own personal experience. I hadn’t set out to work with parents; I was just trying to create the niche I had wanted to find but couldn’t.

Parents want solutions to their immediate problems of getting their kids safe, fed, dressed, and to sleep. But they also needed to hear validation, and not have people dismiss how tired and stressed out they are. With my coaching experience I created a monthly themed community circle for parents to get support around setting boundaries, navigating relationships with kids, finding your identity after becoming a parent, and more.

The pandemic stopped all my in-person events, but I offer most of my courses online now, and have always offered individual coaching sessions. I’ve also had two books published, recorded a season of a podcast, and now have three kids (and we’re homeschooling). As I’ve grown as a person and parent, so has my business. Parents usually look for solutions to problems, but often just need permission to do what they feel is right. I love helping them gain that confidence.

Alright, so let’s move onto what keeps you busy professionally?
Something that I do differently than a lot of parenting sites and experts is that I focus more on parents than on what their kids are doing. I like to say that parenting is only 20% what your kids do, and 80% how you respond to them. I don’t have a “right way” to do things because no solution works for everyone. My goal is to help parents figure out what actually works for them based on their real life and its limits by providing the information for them to make the best choice they can. If your children are neurodivergent (autistic, have ADHD, etc.), advice for neurotypical kids won’t work. If you’re a nurse who works 12-hour overnight shifts, advice for 9-to-5ers won’t help you. I help clients work with what they have.

My college focus and Before Children career was theatrical stage management, so I have a lot of experience juggling many people’s needs and operating on very little sleep. I took a health coaching certification program while I was still working in theater and started a small coaching practice. When I got pregnant with my first baby, I planned to take 6 weeks off to recover, which turned into 2 years. You just can’t know how your priorities will change after having kids. It’s been very hard to build a business with three young kids. They’re currently 9, almost 6, and 3, so I have the same challenges as many of my clients. I’ve had to learn to ask for and accept help, and to see that as a strength instead of a weakness. It has forced me to communicate even more clearly with my husband and set boundaries and limits. My clients appreciate that I have personal and professional examples of what they’re working on, too. Having very limited childcare hours also makes me prioritize what I work on since I always have lists of ideas, but few hours.

I’m very proud of my podcast episodes and having written two books, both of which took a massive amount of work and were big commitments for me. It’s amazing to take an abstract idea and turn it into something tangible. But what makes me happiest is when I hear from new followers and clients and they say, “This is exactly what I needed.” Because that’s the feeling that was missing for me as a new mom.

I like to tell clients that I’m not a parenting expert, I’m only an expert at coaching. They are the experts on their own children and lives. I cover a lot of topics with clients, but when you’re a parent, everything is connected: work, politics, food, school, economic pressures, white supremacist patriarchal capitalism. You can’t isolate them when you’re modeling adulthood for your kids.

If you had a friend visiting you, what are some of the local spots you’d want to take them around to?
They would probably bring their kids along, so we would have to keep it family-friendly. My kids would want to go to Legoland together. The San Diego Zoo is a must-see with kids, but we know that we won’t see it all in one trip–we let the guests choose the route.
The beach is another mandatory visit, but with young kids, we tend to stick to Mission Bay or Coronado so there’s more sand and fewer waves. We like to go in the afternoon and pick up tacos and carne asada fries for dinner. (We like Lucha Libre, or the Mariscos Alex taco truck off Fairmount.)
A day at Balboa Park to visit the NAT would be followed by a picnic near the botanical building, then a little time at Pepper Grove Park’s playground so the kids can run around and the parents can chat. If we had enough adults, one could grab some food to-go from Panama 66 across the park. If not, we could drive through Evolution Fast Food just past Balboa Park in Bankers Hill and grab gluten-free vegan burgers, fries, and milkshakes.
Another park day lets the kids burn off energy, but isn’t as overstimulating as more touristy locations. We like centrally-located Civita Park in Mission Valley with its large splash pad, space to bike or scooter, and a relatively new playground. Also key? Airy bathrooms and handwashing stations.

There are so many fun things to do as a family in San Diego that it’s easy to overschedule. We try to choose one activity a day and let the kids set the pace.

Shoutout is all about shouting out others who you feel deserve additional recognition and exposure. Who would you like to shoutout?
All the parents who have trusted me to support them and their families, the Badass Chestfeeders of San Diego group on Facebook, and my group chats who are my biggest cheerleaders

Website: semicrunchymama.com

Instagram: http://instagram.com/stacyspensley

Twitter: twitter.com/stacyspensley

Facebook: facebook.com/semicrunchymama

Image Credits
Sophia Mavrides, Chris Wojdak