We had the good fortune of connecting with Shari Botwin and we’ve shared our conversation below.

Hi Shari, as a parent, what have you done for you children that you feel has had the most significant impact?
I spent years in trauma therapy telling my story of surviving childhood sexual abuse, followed by years of allowing myself to grieve all that was lost.

Around the age of 38, my life began coming together, and the shame that came with my abuse finally dissipated. I began to accept and understand my experience and the impact my abuse had on me. Finding loving relationships and have a family is all I ever wanted.

Allowing myself to become a mom has been a lifesaver. The most important thing I did in my early adulthood was break the silence about what happened me. I did not know it at the time, but looking back on my early years with my therapist, I was paving the way to having a family of my own. It was not until I became a parent thirteen years ago that I fully understood how vulnerable I had been as a child. I could finally let go of the shame and feelings of fault about my abuse. I could finally value my body and my life, and my fear of repeating the cycle of abuse lessened once my baby arrived.

What should our readers know about your business?
I started my private practice in South Jersey very early in my career. Being my own boss allowed me to make time for intensive therapy, and it also allowed me to take on clients that I felt most comfortable with. Throughout the years, I have learned how to set boundaries, and make ample time in my work to do what makes me the most happy. Five years ago, I published my second book, Thriving After Trauma: Stories of Living and Healing. https://www.amazon.com/Thriving-After-Trauma-Stories-Healing/dp/1538162679/Healing: I still remember driving home one day from my office and thinking, “the world needs to hear more about the power of therapy in trauma recovery.” From that day forward, I have published dozens of articles and gone on a variety of media outlets to talk about breaking stories related to trauma.
Last month, I published my third book, “Stolen Childhoods: Thriving After Abuse.” https://www.amazon.com/Stolen-Childhoods-Thriving-After-Abuse/dp/1538183625/ I finally told my whole story. I shared who my perpetrator was and I wrote extensively about the steps we need to take to reclaim our right to living a full life after surviving childhood abuse!
Right after I finished writing “Stolen Childhoods,” I began serving as a trauma expert witness in high-profile civil and criminal cases involving childhood abuse, gun violence, sexual assault and domestic violence. Sitting in the witness stand and testifying in court is the risk I have ever taken professionally. In order to be effective in this role, I need to understand my triggers and be willing to talk to people who may discount or disbelieve my testimony. Each time I testify in court, I learn more about myself and all the clients I have conducted therapy sessions with.
I have found ways to turn memories of horror into hope and empowerment!

 

Let’s say your best friend was visiting the area and you wanted to show them the best time ever. Where would you take them? Give us a little itinerary – say it was a week long trip, where would you eat, drink, visit, hang out, etc.
My favorite spots to visit are ones that provide me with calm, happy and safety. When I am not in my office or when I have down time to obligations related to my 13-year-old kiddo, you can find me at the beach, New York City, or my favorite coffee house. When friends visit from out of town, I always take them to one or all of these places.
I always say New York city is the place where dreams come true. When I was a teenager, I went to the city to escape my abuse. I was very involved in musical theater growing up. I saw Bernadette Peters perform several times, and even found my way backstage to talk to her after a performance she did in “Into The Woods.”
Now, when I visit New York, it is to go on-air at the Law and Crime Network, where I serve as a regular guest contributor. When I am not giving on-air commentary for one of the media networks, I go to New York to see the latest hit on Broadway. I visit different coffee shops and restaurants, always finding something new for the next trip.

The Shoutout series is all about recognizing that our success and where we are in life is at least somewhat thanks to the efforts, support, mentorship, love and encouragement of others. So is there someone that you want to dedicate your shoutout to?
I want to dedicate this article to my therapist, Dorothy Saynisch, PhD, who stood by me for years as I fought to save my own life. Her steadfast concern, respect and knowledge helped me find a way to stay safe, while confronting the darkest times in my life. The most important question she asked me early in my healing journey was, “Why are you doing this painful work?” That helped me take ownership of my life, and all the things I wanted to reclaim as an adult. She helped me realize that I did want a family, and that my fear of becoming a parent was about my past, not my present. For over two decades, Dorothy helped me reframe my childhood trauma, and she encouraged me to stay in the fight. When I wanted to give up, she told me to do the opposite. When I felt worthless and hopeless about my future, she reminded me that those feelings were coming from my past, and that my future would be full of hope and healing. I truly believe that Dorothy is the reason I am here today to tell my story. While she could not rescue me from all the layers of pain and shame, she believed in me, and she helped me pave the way to a life that is full of love, safety and happiness!

Website: https://www.sharibotwin.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/warriorbotwin7

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/shari-botwin-901172a

Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/shari_botwin

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sharilcsw

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCDP56CZSd8kDVzqpjuvtvDA

Other: https://www.amazon.com/Stolen-Childhoods-Thriving-After-Abuse/dp/1538183625/
https://www.amazon.com/Stolen-Childhoods-Thriving-After-Abuse/dp/B0D4RFX67B/
https://www.amazon.com/Thriving-After-Trauma-Stories-Healing/dp/1538162679/

Image Credits
In picture on NBC, I am with NBC News Daily Anchor: Zinhle Essamuah

Nominate Someone: ShoutoutSoCal is built on recommendations and shoutouts from the community; it’s how we uncover hidden gems, so if you or someone you know deserves recognition please let us know here.