Meet Natalie Blair, LMFT | Sex Therapist & Owner of Authentically You Therapy

We had the good fortune of connecting with Natalie Blair, LMFT and we’ve shared our conversation below.

Hi Natalie, can you talk to us a bit about the social impact of your business?
Our culture as a whole, is sex obsessed but sadly, very sex negative. It is everywhere in the media yet no one really talks about it, I mean real true conversations about needs, wants, and desires. Without open discussions sex and intimacy can never become as normalized as they should.

Sex is a basic physiological need, like air, food, and sleep. Yet, we act like it doesn’t exist. Why do we act like this need is ancillary to our lives? Most likely because our thoughts and feelings about it tend to be paired with feelings of guilt, shame and embarrassment.

it’s not about the amount of physical connections we are having, but more about knowing what our own needs and wants are. We don’t seem to know what turns us on, and we surely don’t know how to ask for it.

Women, specifically in my generation, have been raised to focus on pleasing your male partner. We became obsessed with what we needed to look and dress like, all to gain the male gaze. Marriage became validation that we were good enough. When you add in the stress of raising children, women’s own needs move farther and farther down the priority list.

According to statistics, around 80% of women have faked or regularly fake orgasms.
For so many women, the pressure to have intercourse has taken away the intimacy and connection they desperately crave. Physical connection should be pleasurable and not a checked box.

The need then to develop our individual sexual identity is paramount to overall well being. In my therapy practice, Authentically You, we focus on helping women reclaim their sexuality. We work through how they see their place in their world, their own desirability, and how they connect to others. We prioritize helping our clients get back in touch with the things in life that bring them joy and pleasure, inside and outside of the bedroom.

Giving women the space to explore their sexuality and process out their deep rooted feelings of shame and guilt have powerful effects on their lives. We can help give women the ability to take control of their sexuality and become their most authentic selves. This allows them to be more comfortable in their own skin and thus be more present and intentional in their lives.

How does this help the community and the world, you ask? On an individual level, the women we treat become more confident, and self-assured. They become better partners, parents, co-workers, and overall better humans.

Let’s talk shop? Tell us more about your career, what can you share with our community?
How did I get here? Somewhere I read that it’s not a midlife crisis but a midlife awakening, and I just love that.

I spent 15 years working in community mental health. Having worked with a wide range of populations from homeless to severely mentally ill was a gift but was very emotionally draining and desensitizing. Despite the hard work of clinicians, there just weren’t many success stories. As I felt my career winding down, I knew I desperately needed to see people heal and grow.

In 2022, on the recommendation of a good friend and fellow therapist, I began doing telehealth on the side working with adults in need of therapy. I found a renewed energy within me and decided to pursue it full time. Working with primarily college age women, I found they could talk more openly about intimacy than women in my generation. However, they still didn’t seem to take ownership of their body and when I would broach the subject gently with them, they were so excited and relieved to have someone to process their thoughts and feelings with.

There was clearly a need for more open discussion of this in therapy. My clinical focus then turned to sex therapy and I haven’t looked back. I feel so much gratitude to be helping women on their journey toward reclaiming their sexuality.

As Salt-N-Pepa says, “Let’s Talk about Sex”!

Let’s say your best friend was visiting the area and you wanted to show them the best time ever. Where would you take them? Give us a little itinerary – say it was a week long trip, where would you eat, drink, visit, hang out, etc.
San Diego has such a wide range of neighborhoods and landscapes there are endless quaint or interesting spots to check out.

My office is in Pacific Beach so I will say I am partial to the beautiful coastal areas we have.
Here in Pacific Beach/Mission Beach, my favorite spot is Beach House. Feet in the sand, drink in my hand, nothing else needs to be said about this place. If brunch is more you’re go- to, I love Olive Cafe. Steps from the ocean and bay- they have by far the best breakfast burritos and amazing salsa!

Random places I adore around the city are: Verbatim books, Farm Animal Refuge, Chapter One Tattoo, Gossip Grill, Plumeria, Brittania Tea Room, and Olive Cafe.

The Shoutout series is all about recognizing that our success and where we are in life is at least somewhat thanks to the efforts, support, mentorship, love and encouragement of others. So is there someone that you want to dedicate your shoutout to?
Every step forward in life is filled with those who shape what road we take, and help define who we will become. Carving your own path may not always be easy and may be filled with plenty of naysayers but the only life worth really living is the one truly meant for you.

I was very thankful to have found the Sexual Health Alliance. Being a student there helped me become who I am as a sex therapist. It provided invaluable and up to date information surrounding our field and also provided ways to collaborate on best practices.

Website: https://www.beauthenticallyyou.net

Instagram: @authenticallyyou_sd

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/natalie-blair-lmft-30499ab8?trk=contact-info