We had the good fortune of connecting with Lindsay Bunselmeyer and we’ve shared our conversation below.
Hi Lindsay, how has your perspective on work-life balance evolved over time?
My sense of balance certainly changed when I became a mother. As new moms, important parts of our identities are often put on hold as we give of ourselves to meet the needs of our babies. The needs of our babies, at least in the beginning, can be wildly unpredictable! All of this has the potential to disrupt our internal sense of control and predictability and create a balance that feels temporarily thrown out of whack. Prior to welcoming each of my daughters, I was aware that my life was about to change in a big way. But I still experienced challenging thoughts and emotions I hadn’t expected. I wondered why I didn’t feel like myself, why I couldn’t rest even though I was extremely tired, and why I didn’t feel adequate for motherhood. I was not aware at the time that what I was experiencing was completely normal and, in fact, common. The enormity of this life change, especially for mothers that aren’t expecting it, is (among many others) a risk factor for perinatal mood and anxiety disorders. I am grateful to have learned over time and with a lot of support that my needs are still important, and balance is possible. The thoughts and feelings that consumed that initial period had nothing to do with the joy and fulfillment that was possible for me as a mom. To achieve a new sense of balance in my role as a mom, I needed to gradually re-claim parts of myself that were put on hold. A large part of that is my career as a Marriage and Family Therapist. Every mother’s journey is unique and influenced by a wide variety of factors. At the same time, we share so much in common. My goal is to take what I’ve learned both through lived and clinical experience to help new mothers gain the comfort, insight, and tools to hold their own needs in balance with their baby’s.
Can you give our readers an introduction to your business? Maybe you can share a bit about what you do and what sets you apart from others?
My private practice began with the belief that family health makes the world go around. I work with women in the perinatal stage, children, teens, and I offer parenting support and consultation. My goal is to help individuals gain the tools and insight to feel more connected to their authentic self, connected to their loved ones, and to break unhealthy intergenerational patterns. Experiencing postpartum depression and anxiety first hand opened my eyes to the unique complexity of this tender stage. I obtained advanced training in Perinatal Mood and Anxiety Disorders, and I’m excited to be working toward Perinatal Mental Health Certification. I am also a member of Postpartum Health Alliance, which offers so many important services to new mothers and families in San Diego. I hope to help moms to feel less alone as they recover from a traumatic birth, adjust to their new role, and address symptoms of postpartum anxiety and depression. As a parent I have also become familiar with several parenting philosophies that fit really well with my experience and education on attachment and child development. This inspired me to develop a framework for parenting education that combines ideas from leaders in the field. Parenting can trigger so many of our own internal wounds and challenge us to do the inner work needed for growth so that we can respond to our children’s needs from a calm and connected place. My clinical style is attachment based, trauma informed, and tailored to individual needs and strengths. I’m grateful to have found a career path that feels authentic and purposeful while allowing me to support healthy families with thoughtful, sensitive, and well-informed services.
Let’s say your best friend was visiting the area and you wanted to show them the best time ever. Where would you take them? Give us a little itinerary – say it was a week long trip, where would you eat, drink, visit, hang out, etc.
I’m a San Diego native, with long time family roots in this city. Go SDSU Aztecs! My husband, 2 daughters, and I love to hike, camp, and explore outside. Some of our favorite spots include Mission Trails, Torrey Pines State Reserve, North La Jolla shores, and nearby Mount Laguna.
Who else deserves some credit and recognition?
I spent the bulk of my early career working for a large social service agency based in the Bay Area called Seneca Family of Agencies. The agency is committed to social justice and to serving vulnerable populations. I began my work there as a pre-licensed therapist, working with kids and their families at a day treatment center, and moved on to start a new mental health wellness center on a large public high school campus. The 8 years that I spent with this agency had a huge impact on my identity as a therapist. It was in this role that I began to see mental health through an attachment and relational lens. Early experiences with caregivers pave the way for how we grow to understand the world and ourselves. I believe that understanding and uncovering these belief systems sets the foundation for effective treatment. I became fascinated by the way that trauma affects the brain and by the outcome of childhood trauma on future emotional, physical, and relational wellbeing. I began to view challenging behaviors not as random acts of defiance or protest, but always as a function of a deeper emotional need. Finally, I began to understand the importance of community as a therapist. I learned so much from the friends and colleagues that I was fortunate to connect with in this role and value the impact that they have had on my growth. These insights inspired me to pursue formal advanced clinical training in EMDR and Theraplay. Continuing education and consultation are incredibly important to me. I don’t think I’m ever done learning and growing and I continuously seek out training, literature, conferences, and consultation to help me better serve the community. The experience that I gained while working for this agency set the foundation for the clinical lens I have taken to various agency roles thereafter, and into my private practice. I currently offer individual and family-focused therapy services at convenient evening and weekend hours. I’m committed to the idea that therapy should be accessible to those who need it, so I accept various insurance plans, and offer sliding scale rates.
Taryn Laurine Photography