Meet J Lau Farrow-halston | Professional Drag Entertainer & Independent Show Producer

We had the good fortune of connecting with J Lau Farrow-halston and we’ve shared our conversation below.

Hi J Lau, we’d love to hear more about how you thought about starting your own business?

When I first moved to San Diego, I quickly realized that the drag scene was heavily concentrated in Hillcrest, with an already well-established and tight-knit community. Opportunities for new, professional drag performers—especially those new to town—were incredibly limited in terms of brunch and dinner shows, away from the night clubs. With only a handful of venues hosting drag shows, the landscape was narrow. The one venue that offered appropriate compensation maintained a rotating cast of performers, primarily consisting of local talent alongside out-of-town friends and RuPaul’s Drag Race alumni. Other venues followed a similar pattern, featuring the same performers on alternate nights. Outside of Hillcrest, options were even more scarce. Lips stood as the only other venue, where performers were required to be employed as cocktail servers—despite an overflow of talented artists eager for the chance to shine. It was clear that many gifted performers had minimal opportunities to showcase their craft unless they were part of an exclusive circle.

Upon relocating to Escondido, a more conservative area of San Diego, I recognized both a challenge and an opportunity. Despite its conservative reputation, Escondido is home to a vibrant LGBTQIA community—one that lacked a dedicated, safe space without having to travel 30 minutes into the “gayborhood.” For many allies and community members, especially older individuals, the nightclub environment wasn’t an appealing option. I envisioned creating a welcoming, local space where the community—both young and mature—could come together to celebrate, connect, and embrace their identities. More importantly, I wanted to continue doing what I love: performing drag.

And so, Escondido Drag was born—a space dedicated to inclusivity, artistry, and community celebration.

Can you give our readers an introduction to your business? Maybe you can share a bit about what you do and what sets you apart from others?

Hi J Lau, we’d love to hear more about how you thought about starting your own business?

When I first moved to San Diego, I quickly realized that the drag scene was heavily concentrated in Hillcrest, with an already well-established and tight-knit community. Opportunities for new, professional drag performers—especially those new to town—were incredibly limited in terms of brunch and dinner shows, away from the night clubs. With only a handful of venues hosting drag shows, the landscape was narrow. The one venue that offered appropriate compensation maintained a rotating cast of performers, primarily consisting of local talent alongside out-of-town friends and RuPaul’s Drag Race alumni. Other venues followed a similar pattern, featuring the same performers on alternate nights. Outside of Hillcrest, options were even more scarce. Lips stood as the only other venue, where performers were required to be employed as cocktail servers—despite an overflow of talented artists eager for the chance to shine. It was clear that many gifted performers had minimal opportunities to showcase their craft unless they were part of an exclusive circle.

Upon relocating to Escondido, a more conservative area of San Diego, I recognized both a challenge and an opportunity. Despite its conservative reputation, Escondido is home to a vibrant LGBTQIA community—one that lacked a dedicated, safe space without having to travel 30 minutes into the “gayborhood.” For many allies and community members, especially older individuals, the nightclub environment wasn’t an appealing option. I envisioned creating a welcoming, local space where the community—both young and mature—could come together to celebrate, connect, and embrace their identities. More importantly, I wanted to continue doing what I love: performing drag.

And so, Escondido Drag was born—a space dedicated to inclusivity, artistry, and community celebration.

Can you give our readers an introduction to your business? Maybe you can share a bit about what you do and what sets you apart from others?

My drag production journey began in Escondido alongside my now-fiancé. When we moved there, we didn’t fully grasp how conservative the majority of the population was. In our search for LGBTQIA-friendly spaces, we only found a handful of venues, but none were suitable for hosting drag performances.

After much persistence, I found a local brewery owned by a conservative couple who, after several in-person meetings, agreed to give a drag show a chance. The night of the event, not only did we sell out 100 tickets, but we actually oversold, with some guests seated outside but still able to enjoy the show. The brewery owners were thrilled with the turnout, and we had already planned to host another show the following month—until things took a darker turn.

While promoting the event, I was handing out flyers downtown and slipping them under the doors of closed businesses. The next morning, I woke up to an overwhelming amount of Instagram notifications. To my shock, a local pastor—owner of one of the businesses I had left a flyer at—posted a video accusing my show of being a “grooming” event for children, simply because I had intended for the drag show to be all-ages. I never imagined my efforts would be targeted in this way.

The backlash was swift and severe. Both the brewery and I received a barrage of violent and non-violent threats. The brewery owner, a military veteran, was particularly distressed. Having served in the military, he was taught that regardless of race, sexuality, or background, we are all family and deserve respect. Yet, he found himself under attack by the same pastor, who was also a veteran.

This experience, along with the hateful messages I received from the local community, was a difficult setback. I even had an unidentified neighbor come to our door and scratch our peephole—an unsettling reminder of the fear people like us often face. But instead of deterring me, it fueled my passion and solidified my belief that the LGBTQ community in Escondido needed a voice, and I was the one to provide it.

Despite the intensity of these attacks, the second show had to be canceled for safety concerns. However, soon after, other business owners, such as those at the Grand Comedy Club and Good Omen Mead, welcomed me to their venues, allowing me to continue producing drag events. Over the course of two years, I was fortunate to produce two very successful shows in Escondido—a brunch show and an evening show—until Good Omen was forced to close due to legal threats from a homophobic landlord.

As a former Miss Gay Universe and national pageant titleholder, I understood the responsibility I had to use my platform for good. I was honored to receive recognition from both the City of Escondido, with a certificate for my LGBTQ+ representation efforts, and from the International Imperial Court, which awarded me the José Luis Ibarra Medal for my advocacy in fighting LGBTQ+ and Asian hate.

It was heartbreaking to see the groundbreaking drag events in Escondido come to an end, but that adversity only motivated me to push harder. I expanded into neighboring cities like Vista and North Park, and have since been proud to bring consistent drag representation and safe spaces to areas that lacked queer-friendly environments.

Through these challenges, I’ve learned that if you have the heart and passion for what you’re doing, there is nothing that can stop you. Despite limited resources compared to larger production companies, I’ve built relationships and connections in new cities from the ground up—representing the LGBTQ+ community with pride and authenticity.

However, I do wish the drag community as a whole would be more inclusive, especially when it comes to cultural representation. It’s disheartening to see the Asian community so often overlooked, particularly in many “gayborhoods.” As a producer and drag advocate, I’ve taken it upon myself to bring greater visibility to Asian culture within the drag world, including organizing three sold-out Lunar New Year shows that celebrated the rich and underrepresented traditions of the Asian community. Despite the success of these events, when I attempted to revisit them in subsequent years, I was met with indifference. This cold reception is an unfortunate reflection of how some corners of our community struggle with inclusivity.

I also serve on the Board of Directors for the Human Dignity Foundation, a non-profit dedicated to creating positive change for the Queer and Trans communities. In light of the challenges we’ve faced this year—and those that lie ahead—our work has never been more crucial.

Speak up, speak out, and remember that the bridges you burn may very well light your path forward.

Any places to eat or things to do that you can share with our readers? If they have a friend visiting town, what are some spots they could take them to?

It would really depend on what they wanted to do, there are so many wineries and breweries around if it were a drink expedition but also a few restaurants that I absolutely love.

As for wine, I would have to start at Orfila in Escondido. They have been my absolute favorite place for wine when I lived in Escondido. Grafted Cellars in Vista has a nice selection as well with the most personable and fantastic customer service by Karye, the manager of the location.

As for restaurants and dining, I would absolutely take them to Encontro North Park, where Chef Jason bakes the most amazing bread and creates some of the most eye-appealing food that tastes divine! My fiance is a chef and I have also travelled a lot to different countries and revisited them on multiple occasions so it’s safe to say I some pretty high standards, which Encontro meets and does not disappoint. My biggest disappointment is always a dish that looks better than it tastes, which can be very common here.

As someone born and raised in Malaysia, I absolutely miss the tropical weather and wish I had taken advantage of living so close to the beach when I was younger. So I would definitely take them to a beach here in San Diego. La Jolla is a great option but as touristy as it sounds, nothing beats Coronado beach; and my favorite place to dine there, The Henry, where my fiance and I announced our engagement to my dad and stepmom.

In terms of drag, of course I would take them to my shows. I have had so many customers who frequent drag brunches and shows in Hillcrest, but they tell me often that my energy, passion and sincerity while hosting and performing is their favorite while the variety and quality of my different cast never disappoints no matter where I am, or how big or small the venue is.

Who else deserves some credit and recognition?
I would love to shout out the drag queens of North County; Miss Keri Oki, Mole D’vine, Eda Mame, and my drag daughter, Lance Holmes. Another very special shout out and wishes of recovery to the host of the most successful drag show in North County, Ari Mirage, who unfortunately has been incapacitated in the hospital for over a year now I believe.

Instagram: @officialjlau / @escondidodrag

Image Credits
Strawberry Corncakes
TheDragStop
Maxwell Poth
Stacey Frisbey
&
My fiance,
Chef Jose Reyes-Esparza