Meet Alex Ray | The Queer+ Confidence Coach

We had the good fortune of connecting with Alex Ray and we’ve shared our conversation below.

Hi Alex, can you talk to us a bit about the social impact of your business?
You know what really pisses me off? Seeing Queer+ people beat down, and outcast. Why is that? Queer+ humans have been at the forefront of societal growth, innovation, art, progress; so why are we hated? And why are we hiding?

I was extremely insecure, and most of my self-doubt came from thinking my sexuality made me less worthy of love than others. After hitting rock bottom depression in 2017, I was determined to figure out how to love myself. And once I figured out what made other people confident, I knew I wanted to share it with the LGBTQIA+ community. Now I see my queer identity as one of the most beautiful, admirable things about me. As The Queer Confidence Coach I work with other Queer+ humans through my podcast, social media, and my BDSM inspired coaching program: Confident Queer™.

My mission is for all Queer+ people to see what a gift it is to be Queer. We are unleashed from the societal norms. We are freed from expectations, labels, standards. We are the most free to be authentic, empowered beings. And Queer+ people are just the most interesting anyway.

What should our readers know about your business?
I have been through so many evolutions over the years. I laugh when I look back on all the “hats” I’ve worn. And each of them got me to where I am today. I started my first official business at 16 with a friend. We had a family portrait photography business. I went to college for a bit and got into IT. Then left in 2017 to become a fitness and nutrition coach. The mental aspect of coaching has always been the most interesting to me which is why I eventually evolved to what I do now as a life coach for LGBTQIA+ humans.

I recommend every business owner have fun with what you do. It’s not that serious. And when you make it “that serious” you lose your creativity. We saw during the early days of the pandemic how many businesses went under, and also how many soared. The biggest difference I saw was how creative the business owners were. Creativity allowed many businesses to pivot. Which kept them profitable, and even lead to more effective ways of helping their clients.

One of the biggest challenges I’ve had was standing out among the noise. Especially since life coaching is still not taken as seriously as many other industries. What’s helped me is just sharing what’s on my mind. The less filtered I am, the more authentic I am, the more people are interested, and the more my business increases. I’ve been leaning into my Queerness which you see in my fabulous unicorn photos, and my kinky side. I bring a Dominatrix metaphorical approach to the way I work with my clients and they are LOVING it. I don’t know anyone else in the industry calling themselves a “self-esteem dominatrix” and it’s a super fun way for me to reach the LGBTQIA+ community. I genuinely have fun in my business almost all the time. And when I’m not having fun with something, I set it on the back burner till it sparks my interest again. I always wanted to have a business where I could be radically myself, and now I do. I’m totally out of the box.

If you had a friend visiting you, what are some of the local spots you’d want to take them around to?
Well first I’m gonna convince them to try a CrossFit class with me at Invictus San Diego. Then we’d go to Seahorse Coffee, a cute little coffee shop inside a shipping container downtown. We’d have to go get the breakfast pie at PopPie for sure. And if we want a great atmosphere to chill and interact with other super cool entrepreneurs, CaféX by Any Beans Necessary is my favorite spot. It’s black owned and gives so much back to the community. For a beautiful dinner with a view, we’d go to Blacks Beach and watch the sunset from up on the cliffs. And if we want to shake our booties, we’ll head to Rich’s or Flicks in Hillcrest.

The Shoutout series is all about recognizing that our success and where we are in life is at least somewhat thanks to the efforts, support, mentorship, love and encouragement of others. So is there someone that you want to dedicate your shoutout to?
I have so many sources I could thank, but the ones that stand out most are my best friend Andrew Parr who’s been an amazing support and connected me with so many helpful resources. Anne Arundel Community College where I received my ICF Life Coaching credentials after a 12 month program helped me immensely. The program itself grew me as a coach, and as a human. I became so much more confident in all areas of my life. And they’ve been a phenomenal help connecting me with new clients. I also really appreciate my mentor Mike Iamele. He’s been the most unbiased, supportive, and empowering resource for me this last year. And if you are a business owner, I highly recommend you check out SCORE. I worked with a SCORE mentor for a year and he helped me so much! It still blows my mind that it’s free.

Website: https://coachalexray.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/coachalexray/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/coachalexray

Other: https://www.tiktok.com/@coachalexray

Image Credits
Kira Worm