Meet Mini Palmer | Life Coach

We had the good fortune of connecting with Mini Palmer and we’ve shared our conversation below.

Hi Mini, how do you think about risk?
To me, risk taking is the courage to live in the mystery of the unknown. To open yourself to new ways of thinking and being.

Having the courage to make decisions from an inner place of knowing what you feel called to, even if external conditions are not supporting your choice, this is what creates space for innovation and growth.

What has given me that courage is the broader inner knowing that I will always be ok, regardless of the outcome.

This trust that I have always been and always will be taken care of.

The unknown doesn’t have to be dangerous. It can be the doorway to possibility and our highest potential.

So many people want to know the outcome before they make their choice. It can feel comforting to have the answers beforehand. So they use statistics and research and reviews and algorithms to try to determine the best course. And it can be helpful for providing additional information to consider. But those are just measurements of what already is. Your success, if you achieve it, is based on the rules of what came before.

It feels a lot riskier to say yes or no to something or someone without knowing what the specific outcome will be.
But that’s precisely what frees you from the confines of what already exists. And allows you to, “dwell in Possibility”, as Emily Dickinson says. When you are secure in trusting the validity of your inner voice and wisdom, you don’t need the comfort of the known.

Trusting my inner voice allowed me to say no to business and personal relationships that weren’t right for me. This made space for new and more beneficial relationships to come into my life. It can feel risky to let go of a relationship because you don’t know if your life will be better or worse. But if you know you want more than what you have experienced, you are acknowledging this isn’t satisfying you anymore. So really the only risk you are taking is if you stay, or stay the same, and hold yourself back from the possibility of other more satisfying options.

Having the courage to take a risk and leave my previous business in the middle of the pandemic and start a different career as a life coach allowed me to do more of what I love with people I love. I am a big dreamer and I am excited by supporting others in dreaming and living their own dreams. I also knew I wanted to focus on joy and thriving. One of the ways this combined in my world is by offering mental and emotional coaching for professional athletes.

You have to be a big dreamer to play professional sports. And professional athletes have the capacity to experience and bring much joy through their play. I help them fulfill that capacity to live and play in joy rather than under stress and pressure. Joy is an amazing antidote for fear. Because when you are playing and having fun, you’re naturally relaxed and able to think and be your best. And when you are relaxed and open, you can move from thinking about risk in terms of loss to risk in terms of opportunities to grow and gain. You’re willing to try new things and surprise yourself and others in the best of ways. Instead of a downward spiral of fear, loss, and shame, it’s an upward spiral of play, experimentation, and joy.

Can you give our readers an introduction to your business? Maybe you can share a bit about what you do and what sets you apart from others?
I am a life coach for professional athletes and other big dreamers.

In order to dream big, you have to believe that more is possible for you. That belief has always come naturally to me. I’ve always believed that all things are possible. That just because something hasn’t already been done, doesn’t mean it is impossible to achieve. Maybe the path is still waiting to be discovered by someone open enough to see it.

I also believe that when you accept and embrace what you truly love, your calling and work can feel like play. You know that experience you have when you’re doing something you love or are totally fascinated by, and you lose track of time? And you have feelings of joy, peace, and inspiration flowing through you with ease, because you’re so caught up in what you’re doing? That’s actually our natural state. That’s how children play, learn, and grow. They just get fully interested and present to what’s in front of them. No distractions. No worries. Just focused, genuine interest and curiosity.

Curiosity is another important quality that I and my clients share as big dreamers. You can’t ask the question, “What is possible?”, without coming from a place of curiosity and openness to the unknown. You can’t grow and expand unless you’re willing to acknowledge that there could be more available for you, and then explore what that could be.

Another quality that my clients love about me is my non-judgmental presence. In order to be truly curious and open and ask any and every question, you have to be willing to let go of judgment so you can have a safe space to explore what truths and answers are coming up for you. When you stop censoring or self-editing, you’ll be amazed at the variety of thoughts and ideas that come to you. You can always discern between them later, but that initial space to let your thoughts and responses flow freely can help you see new possibilities you might not have been aware of, because you were judging them by existing rules or expectations.

My clients feel accepted and welcomed by me and that sets them free to focus on playing with possibility and creativity instead of trying to figure out how to prove themselves. That’s what’s so amazing about the space I offer. You get to be your whole self and explore your deepest desires and receive the support and encouragement of someone who believes in you, that might not be available from other relationships in your life.

How do I help professional athletes in particular, play at their best?

The answer lies in the word “play”. Many teams focus on getting their players to perform. But the concept of performance implies meeting an expectation or standard. And standards are the last thing you want your players to be thinking about.

Why? Because standards put pressure on players. And they inhibit possibilities. Pressure creates fear. And fear causes distraction. It’s difficult, if not impossible for a player to bring their full focus to the field and the moment, if they are distracted by fear. Fear also causes the body to instinctively tense up. This makes it more likely a player will be injured in the course of the game, because their body is not relaxed and fluid.

Some people may consider fear a helpful motivator. But because the human body and psyche respond to fear with stress, it can cause long term damage and is therefore unsustainable.

So how do I motivate players without introducing the limiting effects of fear and pressure?

I change their focus from performing to playing.

Fear shuts people down, but joy and play open them up.

When you remove the pressure to perform, you create the freedom to play!

My PLAY Program is designed to help players connect with the thoughts and feelings that open them up, and free them to play at their highest potential on the field.

You know about the mind-body connection and how thoughts can influence physiology. This program goes beyond that to building a strong mind-heart connection. When players connect with the why, (the heart motivations) behind their goals, in addition to the what, (the head knowledge) of their actions, they will be able to play with an internal motivation that is not affected by external circumstances.

Feelings are an important source of information, just like stats. If you cut them off or don’t know how to connect with them, you lose the chance to reach your highest potential.

For example, if a pitcher only exercises and strengthens his arm, but doesn’t work out the rest of his body, he won’t have the support he needs to pitch at his highest ability.

You need to take care of the whole body and you need to take care of the whole person, body, mind, and soul for them to function at full capacity.

Through a series of individual sessions, I cover the principles of my PLAY approach and help players tailor the tools for their specific needs, because each player’s mind and heart is unique. We talk about what thoughts and feelings come up for the players in their games, how they can apply the PLAY approach on the field, and how to use the information from their thoughts and feelings to help them focus their attention in the moment.

What if every player experienced that kind of freedom on the field? And what if staff were trained to use this approach to help create a culture of safety and freedom around the team? After years of research, Google found that the most important factor in helping teams thrive was a feeling of psychological safety. I help players feel safe to trust themselves, so they can relax and have fun.

Joy is contagious. When players are experiencing joy, that spreads from the players to the fans. Your games will go from being sold out to “souled out” experiences where fans get to watch the players they love having fun. And the fans will be motivated to keep coming back for more.

Every day, we get to choose between the call of fear and pressure or the call of love and joy. Fear and pressure put you in survival mode. Love and joy put you in thriving mode. And here’s what I believe for every single person, including myself. We were made to thrive. When you’re ready to play and experience joy in every area of your life, I am excited to play with you and support you.

Let’s say your best friend was visiting the area and you wanted to show them the best time ever. Where would you take them? Give us a little itinerary – say it was a week long trip, where would you eat, drink, visit, hang out, etc.
If my best friend was visiting the area, I would take them to the South Coast Botanic Gardens for a beautiful, relaxing walk in nature. They have so many different plants, it’s like visiting different corners of the world in one diverse space. There are lots of lovely places to sit and be still too. Another place that has beautiful views is Ocean Trails in Rancho Palos Verdes. If you follow the trail down to the beach, you get to see and hear the ocean waves crashing against the rocks. I always get a feeling of awe when I stand there watching the ocean move back and forth in all its glory. For food, one of my favorite places to go is Taco Nazo in Bellflower. Their fish and shrimp tacos are so flavorful and delicious.

The Shoutout series is all about recognizing that our success and where we are in life is at least somewhat thanks to the efforts, support, mentorship, love and encouragement of others. So is there someone that you want to dedicate your shoutout to?
I am grateful to God for encouraging me to follow the voice of love and joy and giving me the gift of believing in my own voice. For my parents and brother who were my earliest and most faithful supporters. For my husband and daughters who love and support me in my passions. And my friends Jessica, Marisa, and Olga who make the space for me to be my whole self with them. They all give me the feeling of being truly loved for being myself.

Website: minipalmer.com

Instagram: @qu.o.t.d

Other: email: mini@minipalmer.com

Image Credits
David Palmer