Meet Laura Todd

We had the good fortune of connecting with Laura Todd and we’ve shared our conversation below.

Hi Laura, what habits do you feel play an important role in your life?
One of the most important habits that has helped me succeed is learning to use ‘compassionate curiosity’ throughout nearly all spheres of my life. Compassionate curiosity has gifted me with a liberating ability to remain intellectually, relationally, and emotionally flexible. In a world of chronic uncertainty, the instinct to cling to rigidity for ‘certainty’ is strong, but I’ve learned that rigidity rarely brings the safety we hope for. Instead, it renders us more likely to break than bend, ultimately pulling us further away from the very control we were reaching for and leaving us feeling more defeated than before. Compassionate curiosity, on the other hand, helps in approaching the ever-evolving changes in the world with humility, creativity, and conviction. With compassionate curiosity, I am actually more certain and efficient. I do not need to spend time reconciling with the ego wound of ‘not knowing,’ but instead get to feel excited by the chance to learn something new or gain perspectives from another angle. This approach removes shame and dismantles judgment that inhibits so many of us from moving forward for fear of not going the ‘right’ way.
For example, let’s say I notice I have made a habit of what I consider to be an undesirable behavior. Instead of jumping to ‘I should’ve known better,’ which induces shame and tends to deflate our motivation and ability to creatively solutionize, I turn to compassionate curiosity. How? By allowing myself to wonder, even if I think that I already have the ‘definitive answer’ of how I got there and/or what needs to change. When embracing compassionate curiosity, not only am I wondering ‘what is the function of this behavior, and why have I felt like I’ve needed it?’ but I’m giving myself permission to skip the blame and shame step that, again, often leaves us stuck in a space where we don’t necessarily trust ourselves to make positive change because we’re too busy punishing our bad behavior or poor judgement.
Compassionate curiosity also creates more room for connection. If I admit to myself that I do not know all of the answers or that I’m open to expanding my perspective, I have a reason to seek a trusted mentor for guidance or read an interesting book that I likely would have overlooked had I assumed I already knew all there was to know.
Compassionate curiosity, as a habit, has made unprecedented room for expansion, self efficacy, creativity, and possibility in my life. It has opened up a world of being free to ask “What if?” or “How else?” rather than feeling boxed in by dichotomy, rigidity, or the need for immediate gratification. In this way, curiosity has not only helped me expand my knowledge and resilience, but it has also opened doors to opportunities, communities, creativity, and growth that I may have otherwise overlooked or underestimated.

Alright, so let’s move onto what keeps you busy professionally?
In today’s mental health landscape, the demand for care has, understandably, never been higher. That being said, neither has the number of providers. While in theory this growth would be a welcomed, exciting opportunity for supply to meet demand, it seems as though what has happened instead has been a quieter, more insidious shift towards the slow erosion of quality, depth, and humanity in our work. Large-scale, tech-driven platforms promise efficiency and income, but often at the expense of integrity. Productivity targets replace presence. Formulas replace curiosity. Ultimately, these variables actually work in direct opposition to the values that promote authentic connection, wellness, and healing.
For better or worse, what I feel sets me apart from the trajectory of the field is my vehement dedication to maintaining the integrity of a research-based standard of care without degrading the irreplaceable value of healing that comes from authentic human connection. That instead of succumbing to the pressures of productivity and performance, I hold steady to weaving the delicate fabric of the art and the science of therapy.
I work to offer alternative frameworks that challenge the dominant narratives in how we assess, diagnose, pathologize, and approach therapeutic practices to move beyond what people know as talk therapy. I intentionally blend current research with modern adaptations of indigenous healing practices (that existed long before the mental health industry that we know of today even existed). I aim to model a more expansive and inclusive understanding of healing. I want to impart the kind of learning that embraces the mess that more accurately mirrors the human experience, as compared to a rigid structure of worksheets followed with, “so how did that make you feel?”
My intention is to help fellow healers shift away from centering ourselves in our clinical framework, and instead move toward practices that are accountable, relational, and equity-driven. I offer concrete tools to move past toxic positivity — which often functions as a mechanism of supremacy and oppression — and into mobilizing changes in ways that promote sustainable healing, collective liberation, and living rather than merely surviving. I have found that upon empowering others to claim that deeper understanding of themselves and of others – the outcome is a generative snowball effect of progress toward wholeness that is more embodied, more authentic, and more meaningful.

Let’s say your best friend was visiting the area and you wanted to show them the best time ever. Where would you take them? Give us a little itinerary – say it was a week long trip, where would you eat, drink, visit, hang out, etc.
With a week long trip, I’d want to show my best friend all that San Diego has to offer, and for those who don’t already know – San Diego has a LOT to offer. We’d get to explore all of Hillcrest since that is where I live, no matter the time of year – Hillcrest has more than enough to offer (though maybe I’m slightly biased, I’m okay with that). Assuming that my best friend gets to visit during locals summer and we are not having to yield to the curveballs that May Gray or June Gloom throw out way – we’d have to visit at least three of my favorite beaches. Windansea takes number one, followed closely by cardiff beach and then of course, we’d go to Black’s for the experience! To get to know San Diego’s food scene, we’d absolutely grab a Hodad’s burger one day for lunch and then get Cali burritos another (several) days at different local shops throughout the city. We’d have to make sure to hit up Waverly in Cardiff, Nolita Hall in Little Italy, and Madison on Park in University Heights for other notable eats. For one more upscale night, we’d venture to Herb & Wood. If we’re going to cook for ourselves or connect with San Diego’s local vendors, we’d have to visit the Hillcrest and Little Italy farmers markets. Wrapping up our days with the must-see sunsets, I’d take her to the Torrey Pines Gliderport in La Jolla, Kate Sessions and Calumet Parks, as well as D street or Swami’s beaches up in Encinitas.

Who else deserves some credit and recognition?
I want to dedicate my shout out to one of my most invaluable mentors, Dr. Stephanie Byrd. Dr. Byrd and my relationship began with her as my boss (and a model for running an inclusive, successful therapeutic practice with integrity and humanity, unlike any I had ever seen). While those roles remain true to this day, in the past several years our relationship has also transcended into one of mentorship, business partnership, and friendship. The day I met Dr. Byrd, I went home to my partner and said to her, “this woman has done everything I want to do and I’m going to do anything to work for her, I need to learn from her.” And learn from her I have, in more ways than I could’ve imagined. Dr. Byrd is incredibly knowledgeable, fiercely loyal, and one of the most powerful healers I have ever known because of her striking ability to balance direct candor with utmost sensitivity. Dr. Byrd is an excellent coach because she is first a team player. She imparts knowledge and seeks understanding, she listens as well as she shares, and she is transparent in ways that invoke trust, confidence, and connection. Dr. Byrd has cultivated a space for me to flourish by establishing a foundation of mutual respect, empowerment, and accountability. Working for her (and now with her) as therapists, clinical consultants, and advocates for a better, more equitable tomorrow has been one of the most rewarding, corrective experiences of not only my professional career, but of my life.

Website: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/laura-todd-san-diego-ca/1226584; www.barewellconsulting.com

Instagram: @lpcclaurasd

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/laura-todd-335062b3

Other: https://www.inclusivetherapists.com/california/san-diego/laura-todd

www.barewellgroup.com

Image Credits
Jon Matthews