We had the good fortune of connecting with Jessica Porte and we’ve shared our conversation below.

Hi Jessica, is there something that you feel is most responsible for your success?
I believe in the “it takes a village” mentality.

I had the privilege of hearing a teen speak for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention about her loss. She shared that her support came from a collection of people. Some were a shoulder to cry on. Another was someone that could listen, while another person could make her laugh and distract her when she needed a break from her grief. It’s an unfair pressure to think any one organization or person can carry all the answers, and I think there is beauty in that. It means we all need each other and have the potential to fill gaps as a collective.

Personally, I have many people and organizations to be thankful for in filling the gaps throughout my life Without their encouragement, mentorship, and support, I wouldn’t be where I am. What has remained a strong constant is the need to connect. Sometimes they are people and other times they are books, programs, podcasts, communities, collaboratives, support groups or the healing properties of nature. I think no matter who you are, the ecosystem of your village matters.

Let’s talk shop? Tell us more about your career, what can you share with our community?
Wayfinder Family Co. was created to support families and organizations navigate change, grief, and loss. We live in a grief and pain averse culture. When confronted with someone’s loss, the tendency is to move away from the pain or to fix it. Whether it’s out of fear or well-intention, it’s not actually helpful. We risk isolating people who are in need of support or sending the message that grief has an endpoint. It doesn’t and it’s important to share grief-informed care with families and communities so we can show up better for each other.

My focus is on leadership building skills for the family and organization. I spent many years thinking the only way to do this work was to be licensed, but that route didn’t seem to fit my passion. I wanted to focus on helping organizations build programming that considers these losses and community needs. When we focus on building skills to support people in the midst of pain, these are what leaders need both in a corporate and home setting. A leader is not just the CEO. It’s the parent who advocates for their child, and it’s the child who was able to say, “This is hard, and I need help.”

In California 1 in 17 children will experience the death of a parent or sibling by the time they turn 18 year old (CBEM, 2022). When you look outside of the nuclear family, you can see how many more meaningful relationships can impact youth. I spent 12 years supporting children, teens and their families through death, addiction, and other living losses. I focus on coaching children and parents on leaning into hard conversations and post-bereavement growth. When children, teens, and parents advocate for their needs and share their grief, it is powerful permission for another family to do the same.

At the root of all it, I was a grieving child. Loss took many forms in my life from death, addiction, accidents, disabilities, miscarriages and infertility. As a child, most of them weren’t talked about or were filed away for “when you are older.” When I became a parent, I recognized the power we hold when we can lean into hard conversations with our children.

Let’s say your best friend was visiting the area and you wanted to show them the best time ever. Where would you take them? Give us a little itinerary – say it was a week long trip, where would you eat, drink, visit, hang out, etc.
The bigger question is kids or no kids?! That is what I love about this county is that there is so much to do and it caters to so many different tastes, preferences and lifestyles. I love it!

One of my favorite things to do it to take the train into the city for the day. Whether you have kids or not you can enjoy the views along the coast and then get to stop at all the favorite spots without the hassle of parking. One of my favorite spots is in Old Town San Diego. There you can wonder through all of the shops, museums and historical architecture. The restaurants are also delicious, especially if you are craving homemade tortillas, margaritas, and authentic Mexican food.

Honestly, I just love hanging out at one of the many beautiful San Diego beaches and state parks. I can spend a day kayaking through the La Jolla caves, hike one of the trails, or just hanging out at one of the state beaches. I love to bring our propane fire pit to one of the beaches that permit and stay till dusk. Pontos State Beach is great for that. A day of just relaxing, playing in the waves, watching the family surf, and sunsets… ugh.. that is pure joy. A few times a year, we try to get a camp side near home and take the kids to school from our campsite. It’s really fun. That’s how simple (or complicated depending on who you talk to) we are.

Shoutout is all about shouting out others who you feel deserve additional recognition and exposure. Who would you like to shoutout?
Oh, how do I be short about this? First, is my faith and family. I can always rely on them. My husband is my biggest supporter and my twins, Maximus & Quinn, are my biggest teachers. Kids give you the loving brutal truth and a lot of times when something feels complicated, I think about what I would tell them or my inner child, and it gets so much easier. I am also grateful for my parents and siblings. We got a lot of things wrong over the years but also a lot of things right. I’m grateful for their resiliency and unconditional love.

I am grateful for colleagues and mentors like Melissa Lunardini (Radical Grief), Pamela Gabbay (The Compassionate Friends), Jerry Moe (Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation), and members from the National Alliance for Grieving Children. Dr. Jillian Gilbert (Consultant & Design Thinker) for challenging me to innovate for families. These specific mentors have all taught me something about empathy, compassion, and leadership. I am grateful to Jackie, Kristie, Mitch, Jacob, Nikki, Nia, and so many others in my personal life.

I am also so so grateful for the children, teens, and families who utilize the services around them and seek out community. Culturally, that wasn’t something I saw. It’s beautiful to see.

Website: www.jportecc.com

Instagram: wayfinding_parent

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jessica-port%C3%A9-a235b08/

Image Credits
Kat Carr Photography

Nominate Someone: ShoutoutSocal is built on recommendations and shoutouts from the community; it’s how we uncover hidden gems, so if you or someone you know deserves recognition please let us know here.