Meet Caroline de Aquino | Artist

We had the good fortune of connecting with Caroline de Aquino and we’ve shared our conversation below.

Hi Caroline, how do you think about risk?
First, I’d like to say that I’m very honored for this, it feels great being able to share my story with Shoutout SoCal’s community.

Second, please forgive my English writing mistakes. It’s my second language, I never had a formal class for it. I’ve learned English by myself in Brazil, when I was still in college, by just watching movies (I’m very passionate about film), so I write the way I speak… I’m also sharing this because I think its where my story starts.

I chose the “risk taking” question as my first one to start this interview because I really do believe it’s what my story is about: taking risks and having the courage to follow your dreams.

I’m from Brazil and I was born in 1993. I am not from a rich family. I’m from a small town close to Sao Paulo city. We were a middle class family (closer to poor), and from where i come from, being an artist felt like a dream for rich kids only, not for us. So it was something that never crossed my mind when I was a little girl. But I was a big dreamer and I always had a big imagination – I was the little girl with tons of imaginary friends.

I was always very determined and wanted to have a better life financially when I was older. I had this mindset that having more money would solve all of my problems. So in high school, I was searching for my possibilities of career and tried to find a bachelor that could provide me a good job and somehow I could work with creativity, because in the end that’s what I loved. Working with something that I was truly passionate about it felt like a luxury that I couldn’t afford. So I decided to study Marketing and Advertising.

I got a full scholarship in one of the best private universities in Brazil. And for this specific scholarship you need to be approved in very hard test. So, I was going to this school made specifically to prepare you for this tests. I had a routine of sometimes 10-12 hours of study. My parents house was 2 hours by bus far from the school, so my routine was waking up everyday at 5am and get 2-3 buses to be in time at school 7:30am, and stay there until 7pm and then 2 more hours to go back home. I did that for a whole year and in the end I finally got the scholarship in the university. This was my first big victory.

My college was also 2 hours far from my parents house, so 4 hours of my day were made just for that. I used this time in the buses mostly to read books and study more. That time, I was already looking for a paid internship and the biggest opportunities all required some understanding of English, which that I didn’t have at all. My parents also could not afford the classes for me, so I decided that I could learn by myself. And that’s what I did. I downloaded books and used my passion for film as a way to learn too.

And then, after so many interviews, lots of no’s, on my third year of college I was approved to one the most wanted internships programs, which is for the HEINEKEN Company, A global company that was awarded so many times with Cannes Lions for best practices with Marketing. It was another big victory for me. A girl that come where I’m from working in that big company! It felt great and I was really proud of myself.

When I started there, their headquarter in Brazil was small, like a boutique. I graduated from college, and became a full time worker at the company. After less than one year, I got promoted again. I was only 23, and already had a lot of responsibilities on shoulders and I lot of pressure.

I was earning a very good amount of money for my age, I was finally able to get access to things that I never had before. I was travelling and living by myself. So, I should feel happy and accomplished… right? The answer is no. I was finally having what I always wanted but I wasn’t happy. The money was fun but I understood that was not everything. At least, not for me. I was understanding too that I had no purpose with my life that time, and I really wanted to have that. If somebody asked me how I’d see myself in the next 5 years, I didn’t know what to answer because the perspective didn’t look great for me. I started to feel lost and more unhappy day after day,

That time I was also taking medications for depression, struggling with panic attacks and anxiety crisis.

So I had this trip to Bali. I went there by myself, It was dream coming true, I always wanted to go there and and I was finally financially able to go. In there I met so many different people from all of the world, They were all sharing me their stories, so different from mine. It was so inspiring for me knowing all this people living their lifes for what they were truly passionate about it: some of them was for surfing, others for art etc. It was new for me too, understating that life could be more for me, that living my dream was possibility too, and yes people from where I come from can go anywhere we want too.

So, I went back to Brazil and decided that I’d quit everything to find myself, but first I needed to heal from depression, and thats what I did, I finished the cycle of my medications with my doctor, I was going to therapy, working out, doing tons of sports and yoga, meditating and improving my diet.

And then 2 years later I finally felt ready to quit. My plan was coming to United States for one year, and then maybe go back to Brazil and find another job.

Right after I quit my job the pandemic come. The borders from Brazil to USA were closed. So I had to stay home, with no job and no assurances from anything. To relax I’ve decided to buy a couple canvases and some acrylic paint, I remember making this joke when I was in college that if I was rich I’d actually go to Fine Arts school because this was what I really loved.

I was so inspired by all the changes my life was going trough, and being able to put this on canvas felt like the most beautiful visual poetry that I’ve ever experienced. .And i fell in love with the process. I posted some pieces on my Instagram and my friends started to buy them. After a couple months I was receiving commissions proposals from friends. I felt so happy, like I never was in my life. Seeing people appreciating my work, wanting to put them on their houses, it was amazing. Life felt so great. I remember thinking “can this be my job? Because I’ve been this happy”.

At the same time, coming to United States was an open possibility for me again. I was participating in this exchanging program called Au Pair and my host family was able to bring me here even trough Covid due to exepction situations.

So after all this journey I decided to make one the biggest risk decisions of my life: I’d quit my job, I’m moving to another country by myself, I’d leave all my comfor life in Brazil and I’d persure my career as an artist here. And thats what happened.

Alright, so let’s move onto what keeps you busy professionally?
So, I’m an immigrant and from Latin-America. And I can guarantee to you that my story here was everything but not easy. When I moved here, I was an au pair. I lived with a host family in NYC. I’m a self taught artist so in that time I didn’t know much about how the fine art world works.

In the beginning I was struggling to adapt, I was by myself, in a very different job that I had before; I was basically a nanny and I was also struggling to adapt with my ego. I had this very glamourous job in Brazil that I fought so much to have, and then decided to quit to be a nanny in another country. Of course, I had a bigger purpose for everything, but sometimes I was missing that part of my life. So I think it was an important process to give a new meaning for my career so used to a corporative life. I lived in NYC for 3 months, then I moved to San Diego. I was an au pair for almost one year, in this period, I almost didnt make any art. So it was a confusing time. I felt very far from my goal and my artist career.

After this first year, It took me a time to understand what i really wanted. I thought about being a designer, or doing murals. I believe I still felt that being an artist was not for me. I really tried to do all this other jobs, and I didnt like it.. So I finally understood that what I really wanted was to be an artist – a painter in this case. Mostly because I was tired of being a people pleaser, I wanted to express myself friely, to show my feelings, I wanted to show my imagination to the world. And I knew the only job that could provide me this satisfaction was being an artist.

Meanwhile, I was struggling to survive in this country. I was not an au pair anymore. So I had sometimes 3 or 4 jobs and only a couple hours a week to paint. Sometimes, no days off. I did all types of jobs. I’ve cleaned houses, worked as a waitress, got some baysitting gigs, dogsitting, delivering food, instacart, serving, barista.. anything that could pay my bills. Some jobs were nice, others they were just trying to take advantage from me because I was an immigrant, Sometimes, I remember crying because I would not have enough money for my rent, or cry for being so tired and no energy to paint. One day I thought I sold a painting, actually it was a scam and lost of my very little money. Another day, somebody got inside my car and stole all my things – art supplies, professional camera, lenses and my passport.

I thought about giving up almost everyday that time, but I didn’t. I wanted to be a professional artist, it was my dream, and I promised myself that I wouldnt give up, that I’d try at least one more year.

And then in April from last year, I found Art on 30th. A place that I’m vert thankful for. In there I finally started producing more pieces, I was having some guidance and critique. I still had tons of other jobs at the same time. I had to work ever harder to be able to afford the classes there. In July, I did my first juried show and my piece got First Place. It was also sold in the show opening. When I found out that I got First Place and sold my piece, well it was a very emotional moment. After all of what I’ve been trough, it was finally happening. I felt the universe was sending me a sign, telling me that I was on the right path.
I think being trough all of this helped to add layers in my work. My pieces are very personal and when I’m creating them, I’m in this very immersive moment with myself, where I just let my feelings talk and choose the shapes and colors.
One of the first pieces that I did at Art on 30th was what I called “A Monster”, but not a scary monster, more like a feeling, we all have monsters inside us and we are trying to deal with them all of the time. That one for example, he was very colorful and scared of something. It was representing my fear of being an artist, of showing myself to the world, scared of everything that I had to deal in this country as an immigrant. He also represented my self sabotage, always scared of trying and not being able to see his own greatness.

If you have time to check my work, you’re going to see that most of pieces I represent this monsters. They are colorful and distorced. Weird but pretty in their own way. This is my vision of us human beings. We are not perfect, we have some “ugly” parts, but everything combined makes us unique and beautiful, I want my pieces to connect with people, This is my goal to represent in my work.
Today I’m being represented by Sd Art Advisory in San Diego.

My biggest lesson from all of this is to understand that what makes us great is our individuality, that we are all capable to do great things.

I’m mostly proud of my story and my current body of work, I think my work its a representation of my strength trough all this journey,

If you had a friend visiting you, what are some of the local spots you’d want to take them around to?
It’s definitely Encinitas! My favorite area in San Diego. We could hang out at Swamis Beach, eat some tacos at Taco Stand or a Poke Bowl at Fish 101. See the sunset at the Moonlight Beach, or have coffee in Leucadia.

The Shoutout series is all about recognizing that our success and where we are in life is at least somewhat thanks to the efforts, support, mentorship, love and encouragement of others. So is there someone that you want to dedicate your shoutout to?
Of course! I would not be where I am right now if it wasn’t for all the people that I met trough this journey,

First I’d like to say thank you to the beautiful artist community on Art on 30th in San Diego, I learned so much from that place and I’m very thankful to all the artists that influenced me or have mentor me trough this journey. A special thanks to Michelle Joyce for believing in my work since the beginning. And Alexander Salazar for believing in my work and represeting me in his new gallery,

Website: https://www.carolinedeaquinoart.com/

Instagram: @carolineaquino.art