Meet Cara Fairfax | Perinatal and Early Childhood and Family Therapist. Founder/Owner of Babies, Kids, and Families

We had the good fortune of connecting with Cara Fairfax and we’ve shared our conversation below.

Hi Cara, what was your thought process behind starting your own business?
I love being a therapist! It is an honor to be invited into the raw and vulnerable moments of someone’s life and watch them heal and grow. I have learned so much from all the jobs I have held over the years while working for a company but I always felt limited in what I could do. Working for myself allows me to lean into the work I love best and what I do well while and limit the work I dont enjoy. As a private practice owner I was able to develop a practice that excites me – every client I work with is my ideal client. I can make my own schedule, create my own culture, make time for trainings and research, seek the conusltaiton I want and need and I dont have to ask someone to do so. I am able to create a specialized practice that serves the people I care most about – pregnant women and families with babies and young children. I love the autonomy and flexbility that being a business owner provides. I also enjoy being paid well for my skill and expereince in private practice that was not available to me in other organizations.

Can you give our readers an introduction to your business? Maybe you can share a bit about what you do and what sets you apart from others?
I am a trauma psychotherapist who speicalizes in pregnancy, post partum and early childhood mental health. I am passionate about the human experience especially in the context of desiring to become a parent, grow one’s family and be a great parent. Pregnancy, childbirth and raising children doesnt always go the way a person thinks it will – when its difficult or disapointing, therapy can make a difference not just in the adults life but in the young child’s life as we nurture secure attachments, heal truama wounds and nurture healing and growth. I focus on very early, precognitive truama and treat children when they are still very young. Working with a child under 5yo who has expereinced periantal, birth or medical/attachment trauma can change the projectory of that child’s future and their relationship to their parents, the most important foundation for every child. I use a variety of trauma focussed treatment interventions including EMDR with very youong children; I am very proud of this profesional skill. I created a ‘play size NICU isolette” to use in therapy to help a child (or parent) claim or create a healing narrative around the NICU expereince. This tool has been so useful for young clients and their parents.

I also work with children living with high-conflict (dirvorcing) parents – I wrote a book during the pandemic to address these struggles (Island Hopper). The book is written through a trauma lens, illustrates challenges a young child may have navigating relationships with their parents and allows the child to be successful despite the struggles whey may live with.

Im also very proud of having started my private practice. I was a scary thing to do but Im so glad I did – I wish I had done it sooner! I had started practice more than 10 years ago but my goal was ‘one client’. As the years passed my goal became 2, 3, and eventually more clients. By the time the pandemic hit, I was working 3 days a week in private practe and 2 days for a major healthcare company. I reached a point where I needed more time to see more clients and despite the lanscape of an international prandemic, I chose to leave my job with health insurance, benefites, and PTO and take the leap into full time Private Practice! I was scared and wondered how long it would take to frow my caseload (hence writing a book), but my practice as full within a month and I have never looked back.

I think the things that have made my business successful are having very specialized service areas (trauma therapy/EMDR, birth to 5yo, pregnancy grief/loss, high-conflict divorce) and having developed strong relationships with other professionals in the field. Having great collegues to refer to, consult with, and collaborate with has been a critical part of my success.

I have learned 3 important lessons along the way: 1) when youre unhappy at your job and it starts to effect your own mental or physical health, make a change as soon as you can! If you dont choose the change, your declining health will choose it for you! 2) Push through fear and believe in yourself. When you know youre good at something, put yourself out there – someone needs youre service. And 3) Design your business based on your ‘ideal day’. My ideal day did not involve starting my day before 10 AM or dealing with health insurance and I designed my practice around these two things -Im glad I did.

Let’s say your best friend was visiting the area and you wanted to show them the best time ever. Where would you take them? Give us a little itinerary – say it was a week long trip, where would you eat, drink, visit, hang out, etc.
We would do some of the typical San Diego hotspots like the Zoo, Balboa Park, The Hotel Del, beaches, downtown and East Village, etc. I live in Mt. Helix so we would grab some food at Banbu Sushi, Casa Gabriella in the village, order take out from Sahara in Rancho San Diego, and drink Sangria at Farmer’s Table in La Mesa. I also love going to the top of Mt. Helix for sunset – its a gorgeous view. We may take the dog to Dog Beach in Coronado and grab dinner at Tartine. For me, its not about where we go but who Im with and spending time with a good friend is filled with great conversation regardless of where we go.

Who else deserves some credit and recognition?
Nancy Deutsch, LCSW – Nancy was my internship supervisor in my second year of grad school. She was the Social Worker at the Alcott Infant Program with SDUSD and accepted me as her intern – this was my entry into working with babies and families. Not only did Nancy introduce me to the world of Early Intervention and Social Work but she included me in networking groups, consultation/peer opportunities, introduced me to other professionals who are driven to help babies and treated me like a future collegue. Its been almost 20 years since I was her intern and we are now collegues and friends. I am so thankful for her support and guidance – she ushered me into this fabulous world of babies and families.

Website: https://babiesandkidz.com/

Instagram: babies_kids_and_families

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/cara-fairfax-a530a8288/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Babieskidsandfamilies/