Meet Kayla Widdes | Intuitive Guide and Mystic Mentor

We had the good fortune of connecting with Kayla Widdes and we’ve shared our conversation below.

Hi Kayla, do you disagree with some advice that is more or less universally accepted?
“Treat others how you want to be treated!” I used to live by this, but one day I realized: NOT EVERYONE WANTS TO BE TREATED HOW I WANT TO BE TREATED.
This quote actually perpetuates the deeply engrained codependency in our culture.
You see, I love hugs, I love to hear people’s deepest struggles and successes, and I appreciate verbal communication.
That is not for everyone.
Some people find hugs excruciating, want to keep it light, are annoyed by a lot of communication.

I’m certain the argument here is that this quote at its core means treat others with love, kindness, and acceptance… because everyone wants to be treated that way, right?
Sure, one would think so.
However different people have different love languages, expressions of kindness, and even definitions and expressions of acceptance.
Like to me, a church accepting me as Queer because “all sins are equal, and we are all sinners” does not feel like acceptance. It feels like I am being passively shamed for who I am, it feels condescending and anger evoking.
To another LGBTQIA+ member this may bring peace and feelings of comfort.

There is also subtle control/manipulation intended in this conventional advice.

It assumes that if I treat people a certain way because I feel it is “the way” to be treated it will somehow have the ability to control how others will treat me.
And if I assume this…oh, boy! I am in for a rude awakening.
I cannot control how other people treat me, and I wouldn’t want to if I could. I am responsible for my own actions and intentions in this human experience and trust me, that is plenty.

Lastly, there are times that I find it beneficial to my wellness to set boundaries that may not be received as loving or kind.
Here is a great example (ladies, I know you will feel this one):
A man is trying to get my attention/talk to me. I am not interested. PERIOD. No explanation needed. Some would say to me something amongst the lines of
“It’s not ladylike to ignore him! It’s rude and might hurt his feelings. Just politely tell him you are not interested”.
Full stop. I do not owe anyone anything.
Even saying “No, thank you” is an opening, it is me directing my attention to him and giving him what he wanted, rather than respecting, honoring, and prioritizing myself and my comfort.
I do not need to engage, “be polite”, or answer him.

In short, aim to treat others how THEY would like to be treated, unless doing so is unsupportive of your values, safety, or integrity.

I do believe there is a “karmic” value behind the intentions that fuel our actions.

So, my saying is:

The intention that fuels one’s action will always return to them and the action that returns the intention will vary.

Alright, so for those in our community who might not be familiar with your business, can you tell us more?
What sets me apart from others is the specific 5 pillar method I designed for healing and empowerment called “DFL”. It’s likely you have never experienced anything quite like it. I am most proud of my clients and their results. Watching them heal and grow, remember Soul Purpose and align with wellness and fulfillment is truly the greatest gift.
I am excited about all the people I get to help, currently and incoming.
DFL Intuitive Guidance varies to meet the needs of the client, which means I get to witness to the ever-evolving processes of transformation, it’s truly magical.

No, it has not been easy for two main reasons.

One, the witch wound runs deep in my ancestry. Healing this wound means addressing subconscious epigenetic fears of condemnation, ostracization, and punishment. It is an unfolding rose with many thorns. Painful but beautiful. I overcome this by working with it as a tool for growth.
I find this experience is a cycle of feeling compassion, and expressing and releasing anger, so I can make more room for the love I call home. It’s an express-release-peace process.

And two, the collective currently (though it seems to be shifting) holds this expectation as a societal norm:
People work for a person/institution in order to get a paycheck, so they can live and function in this human experience.

Going against the norm is challenging. There is little voice that comes in from time to time and tries to say it will be easier, more secure, perhaps even better to go back to a normal full-time job.

I overcome this by looking at doubts or fears when they arise and doing what I need to do to realign with certainty and security, I do this by connecting to my sense of faith. Faith in the fact that everything is always working out for me, and the Universe has my back. I remind myself that I am already a success, I can reflect on my accomplishments, and find gratitude for the fact I am in alignment with my Soul Purpose and ideal joy.

I have learned so many lessons along the way, but one of the most prudent is that if you are all acceptance and no action you will end up directionless, and if you are all action and no acceptance you will end up burnt out. The importance of a balance of acceptance and action, Divine Feminine and Divine Masculine is absolutely key to mental, physical, and spiritual wellness.

I want the world to know my success story can be their success story. I am not chosen, special or gifted in some way that others cannot be. I am a vessel that provides tools to help you remember that you are the healer/psychic/mystic.

I offer guidance to so you too can feel empowered and connected to your Soul Purpose, create your own Spiritual Wellness Practice, and live in your ideal joy.

Through DFL Sessions I provide a container where you can learn to Love Yourself, Love Life, and Find Love.

Let’s say your best friend was visiting the area and you wanted to show them the best time ever. Where would you take them? Give us a little itinerary – say it was a week long trip, where would you eat, drink, visit, hang out, etc.
I would definitely take them to Windansea beach, Ocean Beach, and Torrey Pines State National Reserve. Obviously walk around Balboa Park, and Liberty Station. We would have to go to Trilogy Sanctuary for the Full Moon Party, and Unity Center for the Sunday Service. Kravings Fruit Bar in Santee, Evolution, Sipz in Clairemont, Jyoti Bihanga for their Sunday brunch and grocery shop at People’s Market. Lastly, Gather Coffee and Kava as well as Kava Collective are an absolute must.

Shoutout is all about shouting out others who you feel deserve additional recognition and exposure. Who would you like to shoutout?
Yes! Firstly, my husband. He has been an incredible support from day one. He is a business and marketing wiz and he continues to believe in me and inspire me. Secondly, the Vegan Moms Facebook group. I posted in that group when pursuing what I do today was just a pipe dream. I received so much support from the moms in that group through their participation and affirming feedback. It led to a sense of validation that ultimately awakened me into the reality that not only could do this, but that I am meant to.
Lastly my grandfather and my mother, who always believed in my success and helped support my education in Integrated Psychology and Metaphysical Science.

Website: linktr.ee/designsforloving

Instagram: instagram.com/designsforloving

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kayla-adreene-widdes-084871235/

Facebook: facebook.com/designsforloving

Image Credits
@obphoto82 @rawimages